


The Angel and the God of Beauty

by drowninginchamomiletea



Series: Me gay bmc bois [4]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angsty gays, Because once again, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluffy gays, Holy BOIS this is gay, Hurt/Comfort, I AM TRASH FOR HURT/COMFORT, I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO GET LOVE??!? GOSH !!!?, M/M, Okay totally off topic but: imagine will connolly george salazar and stephanie hsu in tick tick boom, Trans Jeremy Heere, oh my god my poor heart, very very very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2018-12-20 08:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11916819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowninginchamomiletea/pseuds/drowninginchamomiletea
Summary: This is the story of a bunch of kids just trying to make it through high school, told in part by Michael's journal.I TAGGED AND TITLED THIS AS SELF INDULGENT TRASH BUT THEN IT GOT LOVE AND MY POOR HEART WHEEZED BC I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO GET LOVE SO NOW IT'S RE TAGGED AND RE TITLED I HOPE U ENJOY <3 <3 <3btw this was all slightly betad by my friend EmeraldCitysGoneToHell so thanks my dude





	1. Ａｎｇｓｔ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 10/3/2017: HECKAROONIE I'M AN IDIOT I SORTA FORGOT ABOUT RICH'S LISP HERE UH YEAH I'M FIXING THAT NOW  
> Me after fixing it: oh my god there is an entire conversation between two people with different speech disorders and it kind of hurts to read but heY ACCURACY LET'S GO

_I Swear To God If Jeremy Heere Catches Any Whiff Of A Notion Of This Notebook's Existence I Will Immediately Die_

_(He Is An Angel On Earth Holy Shit I Can't Deal With It)_

_(Alternative title: Things I Wish I Could Say To Jeremy But Simultaneously Would Cease To Exist If I Ever Did)_

_1\. Holy shit I'm falling for my best friend_

_2\. You're my favorite person in the entire universe... That's all I know..._

_3\. I love how your voice pitches up and your nose crinkles up when you laugh_

_4\. You are the single cutest thing in existence nothing can convince me otherwise_

_5\. Holy SHIT I've fallen for my best friend_

_6\. You're just too beautiful for your own good_

_7\. Dammit why the hell is your hair so soft I am currently dying? It's so perfect_

_8\. You are seriously an angel. Like. I am fucking serious Heere you are some kind of higher being_

_9\. WHY ARE YOU SO CUDDLY YOU BASTARD YOU SEEM TO EXIST TO TORTURE ME_

_10\. Ho boy, Jere, happy birthday... I love you_

_11\. Wish we could keep cuddling like this forever..._

_12\. Jesus christ I am a Mess™ over this boy_

_13\. Heere I swear to god. You will be the death of me_

_14\. WHY JUST!? WHY_

_15\. YOU KNOW ME I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR JEREMY_

_16\. The fact that you're trans doesn't change anything at all, Jere... But I'm really honored that you trust me enough to tell me._

_17\. Hope you think of me every night like I do you_

_18\. Thinking of you... How's Oregon? Are you having fun? Are you thinking about me?_

_19\. Jesus christ I am pining so HARD for this boy it's not even funny!!_

_20\. UUUUUUGH WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING PRETTY YOU'RE JUST TEASING ME AT THIS POINT_

_21\. JUST LET ME KISS YOU DAMMIT_

_22\. I wish I was spending this evening dancing with you instead of dancing alone and crying_

_23\. Sorry it's been so hard lately. I don't know what to do_

_24\. Wow, the shit I've been saying for the past few days seems so dumb now. How can one therapy session do that much?_

_25\. I am addicted to looking at your freckles..._

_26\. The high I get off hearing you laugh is better than any drug_

_27\. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me_

_28\. Can I just. Call you Angel Jeremy? Because you are 100% an angel don't even try denying it_

_29\. YOUR HAIR IS SO FLUFFY OMG DUDE_

_30\. Please... Just look at me the way you look at her..._

_31\. I love you, I love you, I love you._

_32\. JEREMY I HATE YOU AND IT HURTS SO MUCH BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU_

_33\. JUST KEEP HURTING ME PLEASE AND MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL MANAGE TO PUSH ME AWAY AND I'LL FINALLY BE FREE_

_34\. Please wake up, angel... Please don't drift away..._

_35\. I wish we could just go back to how we were before... Please stop holding her hand..._

_36\. It just feels like I've gone numb, you know? I can't even feel the pain when I see you holding her hand anymore._

_37\. Please don't look at me..._

_[Several large drops of what looks like_ _dried blood obscure the next couple entries]_

_40\. WHY DOESN'T IT STOP HURTING_

_41\. JUST MAKE THIS END MAKE THE PAIN STOP JEREMY_

_42\. STOP LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT STOP KISSING HER JUSTS OPITPLEASEPLEASE ILOVE YOUTOOMUCHSTOPHURTINGMEPLEA_

_[the rest of the ink of this_ _and the next entry's writing is blotched beyond legibility with what seems to be tears]_

_44\. jeremy im so sorry. i love you_

_45\. goodbye_

_46\. why_

_47\. Jeremy why didn't you come to find me_

_48\. Why wasn't it you who saved me_

_49\. Why haven't you texted me for a month_

_50\. Why haven't we talked for a week_

_51\. Why haven't we hung out for two months_

_52\. Why haven't you looked at me for three days_

_53\. Why can't I stop loving you for even a second_

_54\. It hurts_

_55\. It hurts, Jeremy, and I don't know what to do now_

_56\. I think I'll try again_

_57\. I'll try to get out_

_58\. I hope you miss me_

_59\. I wish you'd kiss me_

_60\. Bye sweetheart_

_61\. We havent talked since my first attempt_

_62\. Why won't you look at me_

_63\. Why did you choose her over me_

_64\. I can't take school right now_

_65\. I've been texting you and it stabs like a knife in the gut every time you don't respond_

_66\. Now they've taken all my blades that's the only masochistic thing I can do anymore_

_67\. It doesn't even feel worth a third attempt_

_68\. It's been one month and three days since we last talked. I try every day, but it's like I'm not there. You don't even seem to notice me. Everyone else does. They don't talk to me much, but they acknowledge me._

_69\. I didn't stick with you for twelve years to be thrown out like yesterday's garbage_

_70\. But I can't stop loving you_

_71\. It hurts so bad but I love every minute of it_

_72\. Day 45 of being ignored by you. Lunch. Once again, spent in the bathroom. Crying. Trying to cut with my fingernails and mechanical pencils. And failing. Of course. Cause I fail at everything, because I'm a loser, right?_

_73\. I know Rich talked to you about contacting me three days ago but I still haven't heard from you_

_74\. It hurts so much I don't even know what I did wrong_

_75\. Hey. I heard you and Christine broke up? Mutual terms? I hear she's aro/ace... Good for her for figuring stuff out. How about you? How are you doing? It's been a full two months since we last talked. I still love you more than I can bear. Hope you're happy with life in general. Hugs._

_76\. Yo. What's up? It's been 71 days since we talked... I'm trudging through life as usual. Everything loses its color and sound without you. I don't really listen to music that much anymore... Haven't played any video games for at least a month. I don't care about anything anymore... Living, dying, sitting staring into thin air... There's no difference to me. I wish I knew what I did to drive you off, but... I probably never will. So I'll just keep dragging myself through each day just cause that's what I've always done._

_77\. My soul aches for you_

_78\. I can't believe you could just leave me like that and not feel any pain_

_79\. I love you so much_

_80\. It hurts_

_81\. Day 81 of being ignored. Oh, hey... It's entry 81 too. I don't even know what to do anymore. I love you. But you hurt me more than anyone deserves to be hurt. And I don't even think you meant to._

_82\. Hey, so Rich told me he had a good conversation with you about me. He says you're talking about me like we still talk. Like we're still best buds. And not that we're not, but... If you're gonna say that you've been talking to me... Then actually talk to me, would you?_

_83\. I don't know what to say_  
  
Jeremy looked up, eyes brimming with waves of tears.

"Oh m-my god," he whispered, covering his mouth with his hand. "I c-can't believe... It-it's... He...!"

Rich gave him a look hard as diamond, sharp as blades, and cold as liquid nitrogen.

"Jeremy Heere, you owe thith boy theveral apologieth and at leatht two lifetimeth of thticking to hith thide. I'm theriouthly not letting you thlip away with thome excuthe thith time. Why the _hell_ did you let thith happen? How the _hell_ did you not notithe that your betht friend attempted _thuithide_ , TWITHE?! You should be ashamed. Hell, I'm ashamed _for_ you. Thith kid ith  _head over fucking heelth_ for you and hath been since the beginning of freshman year. Give him a _hug."_

"W-where is he."

"Probably thitting in his bathement, thtaring vacantly into empty thpathe."

Jeremy was halfway across the parking lot before Rich could say anything else. He clutched the composition book to his chest like a lifeline. His feet pounded on the sidewalk, pushing him closer to his destination.

How _had_ he let it happen?! He had started dating Christine, spending less time with Michael, until eventually, he just... Stopped talking to him. Stopped noticing when he walked into the room. An ugly mix of self-disgust and horror swirled within his chest cavity as he banged his way through the front door and barrelled downstairs, not bothering to close the entrance.

"M-Michael!!" he cried, diving at his friend. Michael didn't react. He just remained slumped on the beanbag, staring blankly at nothing in particular, Jeremy heaving sobs into his sweatshirt. "M-Michael, p-please...! I'm s-so s-sorry, I d-don't know w-what happened, I j-just st-stopped talking t-t-to you, and you at-ttemped suicide t-twice and oh m-my god M-Mikey I'm s-so-so s- _sorry..."_

Michael still did and said nothing. His eyes were dark and empty. Jeremy might have thought him dead, if not for the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

"P-please s-say something..."

Michael's eyes flickered shut, and he sighed, exhausted. He was wasting away. He was thin; he didn't even bother moving to get food anymore. He was physically exhausted from sitting in one place for so long. The line between sleeping and waking had blurred to become functionally almost nonexistent. He would slowly sink into a haze as the basement grew dark each evening. Sunlight filtered into the room each morning, parallelled by lucidity illuminating his brain. He hadn't attended school for at least a week. It had started simply, just being tardy for a few days in a row—easy enough to make an excuse for. But each day, he arrived later and later, until he finally didn't even bother going anymore.

Jeremy sat up, holding Michael up in front of him by the shoulders. His shoulders... They felt terrifyingly bony beneath the sweatshirt.

"Michael," he whispered, tears dripping off his nose and chin, "p- _please_ wake up. I und-derstand if y-you d-d-don't f-forgive me, but p- _please_ just _wake up."_

The barest ghost of a smile stole its way onto Michael's face. His voice was disturbingly weak when he spoke.

"Oh... Hey, Jere... Thanks for coming to see me..."

_Hang on..._

"M-Michael! Y-you c-can hear me, r-right?"

After an agonizing ten-second delay, Michael nodded faintly.

"W-when was the last t-time you ate?!"

A long, long pause.

Finally, a weak twitch of the shoulders and backwards sway of the head. _Dunno. Don't really care._

 _Holy shit,_ Jeremy thought, horror-struck. _This is an actual emergency!_ He gently pushed Michael back down onto the bean bag and hurriedly fished his phone out of his jeans pocket. Fumbling fingers opened the phone application and dialed _9-1-1_ , then _call_.

"911, what is your emergency?"

The words tumbled out before he had time to organize them, so they were badly marred with stutters and panicky hiccups.

"It-it-it's my f-friend, h-he-he, he j-j-just, h-his p-parents have b-been away on-n b-business this w-week, an-and I j-just f-f-found him s-sitting in th-the b-basem-ment and I d-don't know w-when the last t-time he ate o-or d-d-drank anyth-thing w-was, a-an-nd-d, a-and, u-um, w-we're at f-four th-three eight o-one t-two Ch-Cherry Court, an-and th-the f-front d-door is st-stan-sitting o-open and w-we're in the b-basement and-and—"

"I just dispatched an ambulance. Don't worry, help is on the way. Now, I need you to take two deep breaths, and then I'm going to ask you a few questions, okay?"

The operator's calm, clear voice helped ground him. He took two deep, steadying breaths, then answered in a lower voice.

"O-okay."

"What are you and your friend's names?"

"J-J-I mean, I'm Jerem-my H-Heere—H-E-E-R-E—a-and my f-friend is Mic-chael M-Mell."

"How old are you each?"

"W-we're b-both 17," he replied, a slight shake returning to his voice.

"Alright, Jeremy. Is Michael breathing steadily? Is he conscious? Is there anything noticeably wrong with him?"

Jeremy struggled to get a hand inside Michael's sweatshirt so he could better monitor his breathing and heartbeat.

"H-he's breathing k-kinda sh-shallowly, b-but steadily," he said, his voice determinedly coherent. He cupped Michael's cheek in a shaky hand. He seemed to be right on the edge of consciousness. "H-he's, um, he's s—He's, um, uh, I th-think he's j-just b—He's n-not awake, b-but he's n-not out c-cold!! And he... He's so much skinnier than th-the last t-time I t-t-talked to h-him, a c-couple m-months ag-go... A-and h-he's c-cold, ev-ven th-though h-he's wearing his-s sw-sweatshirt."

"Can you carry him?"

"Y-yeah."

"Bring him upstairs, into the main house. It'll be warmer there, and it'll be easier for the paramedics to find you."

"O-ok-kay... I-I'm putting y-you on sp-speaker w-while I c-carry him."

"That's a good idea. You're doing great, Jeremy. The paramedics should be there in about a minute and a half. Has anything changed with Michael?"

"N-no," he answered, carrying Michael bridal-style up the stairs. He walked into the combined front hall/living room and deposited his friend on the couch.

"Okay. Keep me on the line until the paramedics arrive. How are you feeling? Are you dizzy?"

"Y-yes," he said, only now realizing this.

"Can you get a glass of cold water without leaving Michael's sight?"

"Y-yeah, hang on." He walked into the open-walled kitchen, glancing frequently back at Michael, and got a glass of ice water. He felt better almost immediately upon drinking it.

"Th-that r-really helps, th-thanks."

"The paramedics should be there in about 20 seconds."

"I think I h-hear the s-siren," he said, quickly striding over to the open front door. Soon enough, an ambulance swung into view, and he ran back to Michael's side.

"Yes, they've just arrived. Alright, I'm going to hang up now."

"Th-thank you s-so m-much," he stuttered.

"Of course, Jeremy. I wish you and Michael the best. Goodbye."

"B-bye."

The line went dead in his hand, and he hung up just as paramedics rushed in with a gurney.

"Ov-ver here!" he called, frantically waving then over. He clung to Michael's hand as they lifted him onto the gurney and wheeled it out of the house and into the ambulance. He heard the front door slam behind them, then the ambulance door close. He felt the jerk as they lurched into motion, speeding to the nearest hospital.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

 _84\. I love you, Jeremy Heere. I don't know what else to say. I love you, I was your best friend for twelve and a half years, I stuck with you no matter how badly you hurt me, I accepted your apology after the SQUIP, overlooked the fact that you never gave me a chance to say I love you. It was always me doing stuff for you, now I look back on it. You never really did much for me once we hit high school. I guess I didn't really have any problems beyond being a social failure. And yet. Yet. Yet, I stayed at your side. I remained faithful. I didn't waver in my role. I supported you in your pursuit of Christine, no matter how much it hurt to see you look at her the way I wish you'd look at me. I was happy for you when you started dating her. I was sad for myself, but I was happy—so, so happy—for you._  
_And then you left me again, and I didn't know what I had done. Where did you go, angel? What happened that cut you loose from me? Was it Christine? Are you really just the kind of person who only needs one other to share his life with? Were you just dizzy with the emotions running through your head, and lost sight of me?_  
_Because I never left you._  
_I still follow you in the halls, sit with you at lunch when one of your friends is gone. I still worry about you. I still think about you. I still love you, and it hurts like nothing I've ever thought to imagine. I love you. I love you. Have the words just lost their meaning? Do they have any significance to you? Do they... Of course they don't, huh. Because you don't love me. First and foremost, you're straight. Speaking of which, does Christine know? That you're trans? This will sound selfish and dumb: am I still the only one that knows? Other than your dad, obviously. Oh, jesus christ, Jeremy, I don't know if it's even possible to express how much I love you. I_

Michael looked up. The door handle was being turned. The door was pushed open, and Jeremy took an enormous, wavering gasp and dropped the plastic cup of water he held. He darted across the room and had his arms around Michael in an instant. He didn't speak. He just squeezed the unhealthily thin boy tightly, like he was about to fade away.

Michael had no idea what to do, or even how he felt. He was so emotionally sapped at this point that he couldn't manage much beyond a weak flare of anger, underlaid by a faint glow of joy.

"Jeremy, I..." He trailed off. _I what? What do I even say to him now?_

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry... Oh, M-Michael, Michael..." Jeremy moaned miserably into Michael's shoulder. "Oh m-my g-god, Michael... W-what can I d-do t-to change the p-past? How d-do I f-fix w-what I b-broke? Oh, M-Micah, oh, my g-god..."

Michael flinched at the nickname. It only came into use in quiet moments, in whispers traded so closely they could feel each others' warm breath on their faces, in cuddles shrouded in the darkness of the basement with a blanket thrown over their heads.

"Jere," Michael whispered. He closed his eyes. A part of him wished more than anything that Jeremy would keep holding him, that he would never leave again. But another part of him, the part that hurt, wanted distance. An explanation. An apology. He wanted this, but at the same time, he knew it wouldn't be enough. Still, it would be a start.

"Jeremy," he started again, voice stronger this time. "Let go of me. Please."

Jeremy winced, but did as requested. He rubbed frantically at his eyes and sat down in the chair. His arms were straight, the heels of his hands on his knees. He gazed unseeingly downward. Michael stared at him, at a complete loss for words.

"M-Micah, I—"

 _"Don't—"_  he cut in sharply, then quickly stopped. In a softer voice, he finished the sentence. "...call me that." _It hurts. It hurts too much to remember that I haven't heard you call me that for so long._

Jeremy nodded, pursing his lips and trying his damndest not to cry. He still felt sick at the idea of meeting Michael's eyes, so he kept gazing at his own knees.

"M-Michael."

The name's owner looked at him, but said nothing.

"I j—I m-mean, y... I'll des-serve anything you can th-throw at me. But f-first, just... I have o-one q-question."

"M—Jeremy... At least look at me, dude..."

Jeremy took a deep breath in and out, then looked up. He was biting his lip hard, fighting back tears. Michael just looked... _Tired_.

"What's your question?"

"W-why didn't you l-leave m-me when I l-left you?"

Michael smiled sadly, reached out his hand and traced the edge of Jeremy's jaw.

"Man, Jeremy... I wish I could've... It probably woulda hurt a lot less... But..." He shrugged helplessly, resting his hand on Jeremy's shoulder. He just... Wanted physical contact. Jeremy kept watching him. Michael closed his eyes, giving himself time to organize his thoughts.

"...I read the notebook," Jeremy eventually whispered. Michael found himself nodding slowly. Of course he'd read the notebook.

"So... So now you know."

"Y-yeah."

"And?"

"What?"

"I'm waiting for you to turn tail and run."

"W-what?! No, I—!! U-um!"

"Just go, Jere. I don't wanna hear it." He looked bitterly away from Jeremy, down at the rough hospital bedsheets. He let his hand fall back to the bed.

"B-but..."

"No."

"What—"

"Stop—"

"W-what if m-my answer _isn't w-what you think it is?!"_

Michael looked up, shocked and angry.

"You _wouldn't_. You wouldn't even _go_ there—"

Jeremy stood up, cutting him off, and shouted.

_"What if I s-said that the reason I b-broke up w-with Chris is b-because I love you?!"_

He looked like he regretted the words the moment they came out of his mouth. His expression rapidly shifted from anger, to fear, to apprehension, before finally landing on something close to grief... And... A trace of... _Hunger_. He was biting his lip again. Staring searchingly at Michael's face. Inching closer.


	2. Ｆｌｕｆｆ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS HAS NO LOGICAL FLOW I'M THE WORST BUT I LOVED WRITING THIS GARBAGE SO MUUUUUUUUUCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all who follow me on twitter @sadunkertoja saw a preview of this

Before either of them could change their minds, Michael grabbed Jeremy's shoulders and closed the distance between them. Their teeth bumped together awkwardly at first, but the darker-skinned boy pulled back a fraction of an inch and tipped his head slightly to the right.

Jeremy's lips had always been chapped from constantly being bitten and pursed and licked. It was one of the many tiny details Michael had always prided himself on noticing. He had always wondered how those chapped, rough lips would feel against his own. It had been the subject of many a heart-eyed daydream over the years. But now—

_Holy shit, he was kissing Jeremiah Heere, and Jeremy was enthusiastically kissing him back._

Jeremy's right hand clutched at the front of the thin hospital gown, and his left, at the back. Michael's right hand had found its way into Jeremy's soft, soft hair, and his left hand grasped the right sleeve of Jeremy's cardigan.

Michael couldn't hear or think through the roaring waterfall of endorphins and dopamine crashing through his body and mind. All he knew was that he _loved_ what was happening, and that it should DEFINITELY _keep_ happening.

"Mnf..." Jeremy let out a soft grunt of pleasure and froze. Michael felt heat radiate from the pale boy's face. He couldn't help it—a grin slowly unfolded on his own face, and he started to snigger, then giggle, and then laugh, all while holding a still-blushing Jeremy close.

Finally, he caught his breath and tightened his grip around the blue-cardiganed boy.

"Ohh, god, you're so adorable, it's almost _unfair...!"_  he giggled into Jeremy's ear. Again unable to help himself, he placed a small kiss on the ear. Jeremy buried his burning face into Michael's shoulder and clenched his fists in embarrassment.

"Micah...ove..." he mumbled. Michael's smile widened at the name.

"Didn't quite catch that."

Jeremy sat down beside his riend on the narrow hospital bed and hid his face as fully as possible between them.

"M-M—" He stopped and uncertainly whispered, "c-can I call you that...?"

Michael nodded.

"Micah... I-I... Lov-ve y-you..."

"I love you too, you dork," he replied sweetly, smiling again and planting a kiss in Jeremy's hair.

Jeremy wrapped his right arm around him so that they were sharing a proper hug. The chocolate-haired teen couldn't suppress a huge smile; there was a hot, tight feeling inside his chest, and it was wonderful. Michael radiated warmth—his body temperature always had run a bit high. Jeremy wrapped his arms tight around the bespectacled boy and took a deep breath.

"Micah... I g-gotta... Ap-pologize... I just... I was d-dating Chris... And I d-drifted away f-from you... And I d-didn't n-notice it until it was too late... But at s-some point I r-realized that whenever I s-spent time with her, all I thought ab-bout was how much I'd r-rather be spending it w-with you... And th-that's when I also realized how f-far away you'd gotten, and-and that I d-didn't know h-how to b-bridge the gap... An-and I was so relieved when Chrissy t-told me she'd r-realized she's aro/ace, c-cause it g-gave me an out, and I t-told her I wasn't f-feeling it anymore, so she sh-shouldn't feel b-bad, s-so th-then that w-was outta the w-way... But you w-were so f-far g-gone... And I d-didn't know how t-to help... And th-then Rich g-got ah-hold of y-your n-n-notebook, and, and, h-he got r-really m-mad at m-me, and sh-showed it t-t-to me, an-nd I r-ran to y-your h-house and f-found you in your b-b-basement j-just w-wasting aw-way... Oh, j-jesus, Micah... I love you... I'm so s-sorry... I d-don't wanna b-believe this h-happened..." By the end of his speech, he was gulping for air between dry sobs, and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. Michael gently traced circles on his back and hushed him soothingly.

"Hey, hey... Breathe, angel... Breathe... You're okay... W-we're okay, now... We'll be okay..."

Jeremy hiccupped. The warm, tight feeling flashed in his chest again when Michael called him 'angel,' but it was soon replaced with a familiar cold emptiness. He clung to his boy, feeling fragile. His boy held him securely, saying everything he needed to hear and nothing more, because he just knew him that way.

"I've got you... It's okay... It all ended okay, right? Don't worry... I'm here... Don't worry... Don't forget to breathe, sweetheart... Breathe... In... Out... In... Out... In... Out..."

Jeremy's breathing slowly eased up.

"I— S-sorry..." As soon as he spoke, he started crying again.

"H-hey now, Miah, sweetheart... It's okay, I gotchu... Don't worry about anything, I'm here... I love you, I love you."

"Th-th-thanks," Jeremy mumbled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and sitting back a bit so he could see Michael properly.

"You don't have to thank me, Miah..."

"N-no, I m-mean it! I t-totally don't d-deserve you... You're... J-just... Hhh,,," Blushing furiously, he placed a tiny kiss on Michael's nose. Michael, caught by surprise, went very pink and touched his nose where Jeremy had kissed it.

"Holy _shit_..."

"W-what?"

This time it was Michael's turn to go red.

"E-everything about you is so..."

Michael didn't notice it, but Jeremy flinched imperceptibly at the horribly familiar words. The sentence ended in a wonderfully _un_ familiar way, however.

"Adorable?! Like. Holy shit, Jere, I can't. I can't stand it," he said, melting and going absolutely heart-eyed.

"O-oh my g-god you are t-totally s-swooning and I'm r- _right here,"_ Jeremy snickered. But when Michael directed those soft, dreamy eyes at him, the hot, tight feeling returned to his chest in full force and all but burned a stupidly happy look onto his face.

"D'you know where all my stuff is?"

"H-here," Jeremy answered, gesturing to the bedside table. Michael's clothes were folded and stacked neatly, and his headphones and phone rested atop them. "They s-said you should b-be fine with j-just s-some IV fluids and some r-rest. They took out the IV about a-an hour ago. I'm s-supposed to be c-clear to t-take you h-home as soon as you w-wake up."

"'Kay. Guess I'll go change, then."

"Right."

As soon as Michael was gone, Jeremy buried his face in his hands, a violent blush creeping across his face and neck.

"Holy sh- _shit,"_ he whispered. He was still reeling from everything that had just happened. Ho. Ly. Shit. He'd just kissed Michael Mell, who had EAGERLY kissed him back. He'd called him 'angel'... He could seriously get used to this.

_85\. I love the way you smile and blush when I call you 'angel'._

Michael soon returned, wrenching Jeremy from his thoughts. As they walked out of the building, he caught Jeremy's hand in his. As they hailed a taxi, he put a hand over Jeremy's shoulder, who in turn leaned into him.

"Y-you're warm..."

"I know, angel. And you're a chilly little thing."

"Sh-shut up..." Again, however, he couldn't help smiling and blushing at the hot feeling in his chest when Michael said 'angel'.

"Yo. 43812 Cherry Court," Michael said, as he clambered into the taxi after Jeremy.

"Sure."

Michael closed the door and took Jeremy's hand again, then just sat and admired him. Jeremy felt a slow blush creeping up his neck at the attention.

"W-what?"

"You're so beautiful," Michael sighed dreamily. That certainly made Jeremy blush darker.

"N-n-not as m-much as you."

"Oh, no, I could _never_ compete with you. I'm serious, Miah, you are just the most beautiful creature ever to grace the Earth. Those freckles... Those pretty blue eyes... That blush... That soft fucking hair... Jesus, you're cute as a button. I gotta talk about it."

Jeremy was bright red and stammering helplessly. Michael grinned, reached over, and tweaked his nose.

"Heavens, you're a mess. But you're my mess, so it's okay."

Jeremy gave up and resorted to just sitting there and blushing carmine. Michael just kept gazing dreamily at him, making him want to melt right then and there.

When they got out at Michael's house, Jeremy grabbed Michael's hand and took the lead down to the basement. He turned on all of the lights on their way.

"T-turn on a m-movie or s-something. I'll go g-get f-food."

"Okay, angel."

Jeremy blushed and hurried back upstairs.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Once again, Michael found himself in his basement, curled up with the beautiful creature known as Jeremiah Heere. He could barely comprehend what had happened that day, but he loved every second of it. He loved every bit of this blushing mess of a boy. He looked down at Jeremy's sleeping face and smiled, playing with his soft, milk chocolate hair. _Christ_ this boy was beautiful. He looked so peaceful, a soft smile on his chapped lips as he slowly breathed.

Jeremy's eyes fluttered open, and Michael smiled down at him again.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" he whispered, stroking a freckled cheek with his thumb. Jeremy sighed contentedly and closed his eyes again. He shook his head.

"Nope... I'm as-sleep..."

"Alright, angel."

A faint blush bloomed on Jeremy's face, making Michael chuckle quietly. The freckled boy opened his eyes again and gazed up at him. He was biting his lip again and smiling softly. Michael hesitantly leaned down, and Jeremy quickly met him halfway, their lips gently pressing together.

The rush of dopamine sent a shiver up Michael's spine, and he tightened his arms around Jeremy. Tipping his head further to the right, he deepened the kiss. Hesitantly, he slipped his tongue between the other's teeth, and Jeremy, to his relief, responded in kind. It was clear that Jeremy was more experienced than he, but Michael was learning quickly. His mind started to wander to his hands, one of which was tangled comfortably in Jeremy's hair, and the other of which was on his back. He experimented a little with moving the hand that was in the brunette's hair, gently rubbing Jeremy's scalp. Jeremy moaned softly and quickly resurfaced, resting his chin on Michael's shoulder and panting slightly.

"H-holy shit, either you're r- _really_ good at th-this, or I've j-just been _really gay_ this whole t-time and never n-noticed," he said breathlessly.

"Or both," Michael added, laughing.

"P-probably both."

"Jeez. That good?"

"Oh h-hell yeah."

_86\. I love how you just melt in my arms when I rub your scalp._

Michael laughed again, squeezing Jeremy in his arms.

"I'm glad, angel."

"C-Christ, I'm always g-gonna have the w-worst weakness f-for you calling me th-that."

"Well, it's true! You're my angel... My Angel Jeremy..." He kissed Jeremy's head, and Jeremy buried his face in Michael's sweatshirt. The smaller boy sighed.

"Y-you're so w-warm..."

Michael hummed in agreement, stroking Jeremy's hair. Getting an idea, Jeremy suddenly sat up, grinning.

"Y-you've always g-gotten t-to play with my h-hair, n-now it's my turn!"

"That's 'cause you always fall asleep first, angel."

"Y-yeah, but—"

Michael silenced him with another kiss. Smiling mischievously, he rubbed gentle circles on Jeremy's scalp, making him melt instantly and moan with contentment. He momentarily broke the kiss to whisper smugly into Jeremy's ear.

_"Now I know your weakness, angel..."_

"J-jesus _christ_ , Micah..."

"Mhm..." Michael grinned at the 'Micah,' then resumed the kiss, still rubbing Jeremy's head.

"G-god, you g-gotta l-let me do s-something... I c-can hardly m-move, y-you m-made me go all l-limp..."

He broke the kiss again, but continued massaging the brunette's head.

"Oh, c'mon... Lemme have my fun... I've been daydreaming about this for three years, angel."

"Dammit... And now y-you know how w-weak I a-am t-to you calling m-me 'angel'..."

"Yep. And I am going to shamelessly take advantage of it." Michael leaned back. His fingers twirled in circular motions in Jeremy's hair, and Jeremy leaned into it, totally weakened. They eventually drifted off together, both utterly relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO DID YOU NOTICE THE DUMB HEATHERS REFERENCE I MADE LAST CHAPTER


	3. Ｃｈａｔｒｏｏｍ　Ｆｉｃｓ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR I WROTE EVERY WORD OF CHAPTERS 1-4 SINCE LAST SATURDAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLYING GAYS  
> CHRISPY CREME  
> CHATROOMS  
> RICH  
> CUDDLES  
> AND MUCH MUCH MORE
> 
> EDIT 4/7/2018: i forgot rich's lisp for the second chapter this fic. This Is ADHD At Its Finest [cool sunglasses face emoji]  
> But yeah I fixed that

MellHell - #DB4D00 - Michael  
angelboy - #006FFF - Jeremy  
GossipGurl - #FF5781 - Jenna  
paaankberry - #FFEE00 - Brooke  
BIATCHQUEEN - #39A300 - Chloe  
bestbi - #FF2700 - Rich  
DramaticalPrincess - #9100FF - Chrisp  
JakeyD - #6AC73B - Jake

* * *

_**bestbi** opened the chatroom **ＵＮＮＥＳＩＳＡＲＹ** to **MellHell** , **angelboy** , **GossipGurl** , **paaankberry** , **BIATCHQUEEN** , and **DramaticalPrincess**_  
bestbi: YO KIDS WHATS GOOD  
bestbi: GUESS WHO SCORED A DATE WITH ONE JAYKAYDAY  
GossipGurl: ooo I like it I like it tell me more good sir  
angelboy: Jesus finally  
angelboy: I was getting sick of waiting for you two to get together  
DramaticalPrincess: HONESTLY THOUGH!!!  
MellHell: Is no one gonna pt out how miserably rich misspelled unnecessary  
bestbi: NO ONE CARES SON  
MellHell: I DO  
MellHell: BAD SPELLING HURTS MY POOR HEART  
angelboy: Oh nooo don't hurt his poor heart plssss  
_**MellHell** changed the chatroom name to **NECESSARY**_  
MellHell: THERE  
bestbi: not bad not bad at all  
BIATCHQUEEN: Oh good I ws startin to think b and I were gonna be the only pair that actually got a room before the end a the school yr  
angelboy: Aaand who're the other pairs?  
BIATCHQUEEN: rich &jake, you&mell  
MellHell: Uh  
angelboy: um...... oh  
MellHell: heck  
angelboy: well uh  
_**MellHell** and **angelboy** have left the chatroom **NECESSARY** _  
GossipGurl: IH MY GOD IM SCREAMING THUS IS JUICY AS HELLLLL

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Jeremy burst in Michael's front door. He didn't even have to knock anymore. One of Michael's moms was at the dining table doing some paperwork. She glanced up when he sprinted over the threshold.

"Afternoon, Jeremy," she said mildly, turning her attention back to the papers before her.

"Hey," he panted, closing the front door and running downstairs to the basement. He found Michael waiting for him at the foot of the stairs.

"We're s-screwed," the willowy boy groaned, falling into the other's waiting arms. Michael responded as he carried Jeremy over to the beanbags.

"Yeah, I was thinking about that on your way over here, and, like... Why did we decide not to tell them again?"

"Uuugh, I d-don't even kn- _know_ , but n-now it j-just f-feels like this b-big secret..."

Michael flopped down on the third, larger beanbag (he'd gotten it from Chloe and Brooke for his birthday), Jeremy still in his arms.

"Honestly, I'm actually kinda surprised none of them have asked about your username yet. My angel..."

"Oh, g-god, don't s-start..." He didn't look all that upset, however. He laid his head on Michael's chest, and Michael started playing with his hair as usual.

"Jeez, I dunno how long I'm gonna be able to keep quiet about how pretty you are."

"Y-you, Michael M-Mell, are t-truly a savage human b-being..."

"Yeah, but you love me for it."

"D-dammit, you're s-so..."

"Lovely? Handsome? Talented? An amazing boyfr—"

_"B-U-S-T-E-D, YOU ARE BUSTEEED!!"_

The two boys nearly took flight. There, striking a dramatic pose in the backlit doorway, was—

"C-C-Chrissy!?!"

Behind her, Rich was wheezing and slamming his fist repeatedly against the wall, Chloe was shrieking with mirth, and Brooke was snickering and snorting loudly. It certainly didn't help that Michael had tripped as he'd stumbled backwards, and that in the panic, Jeremy had wrapped all four limbs around his boy.

"HA! Don't even try to deny it, boys! We totally caught you cuddling!"

Jeremy continued clinging to Michael as the sweatshirt-clad boy struggled back to his feet. Michael took a deep breath and tried to sort through what was happening.

Jeremy was scared out of his wits. His eyes were wide and round and he was wrapped around Michael like an aye-aye around a tree. Christine looked triumphant, and the three behind her were wiping away tears of mirth.

"W-woah, just— Hang on, guys, Jeremy's freaking out here," he said, frowning at them and looking worriedly down at Jere.

"Hey, you okay, sweetheart?" He whispered in the shocked boy's ear. Jeremy took a couple of gulping breaths and buried his face in Michael's sweatshirt.

Michael shook his head, exasperated, annoyed, and still getting over his own near-heart attack. He sat back down on the larger beanbag, holding an anxiously tearful Jeremy, and gestured to the four intruders that they should sit.

"Are you trying to _kill_ this kid?"

Christine put a hand over her mouth as she gave a tiny gasp of shock.

"Ohh, no!! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare him!!"

"Yeah, I know, I know, I'm just making sure it won't happen again."

"Of course not!" _Oh, Chrispy Creme. You are too sweet._

"But hey, headphoneth! What exactly'd we walk in on?"

Michael looked down at Jeremy and felt his face heat up.

"Just—Wait for Jere to calm down, first. Okay?"

"Fine, okay."

"Sure."

"Of course!!"

"Yeah."

Michael started tracing circles on Jeremy's back, as per the standard Jeremy Is Having A Panic Attack procedure.

"Hey. You okay? You're okay, man, it's just Chrissy, and Rich, and Chloe and Brooke... Hush, sweetheart, you're alright, I'm here..." He quietly murmured into his anxious boyfriend's ear. Eventually, Jeremy loosened his grip and dried his eyes with his cardigan sleeves. Michael gave him a worried, caring look that said, _You okay? I'm here for you._ Jeremy grimaced and nodded. _Been better, but yeah._

"Okay," Michael muttered, and looked up to find their friends gawking at the couple.

"What?"

"Damn," Rich said simply, sounding deeply impressed. "I have _never_  theen someone come down from a panic attack that fatht. What wath that, like, a minute?"

"Less, I think," Brooke said, nodding fervently in agreement.

"He's been calming me down for the past thirteen years, 'course he's good at it..." Jeremy mumbled from his secure place in Michael's arms.

Christine smiled.

"Of course he is."

"But yo, so are you two, like...?" Rich trailed off, and he and Chloe gave him expectant looks.

Michael looked questioningly at Jeremy. Jeremy hid his face in the sweatshirt he clung to, then gave a tiny nod.

"Alright," he whispered, and gently ruffled the boy's soft, light brown hair.

"Yeah," he said, answering Rich's unfinished question.

"HA! JAKE OWES ME TWENTY BUCKS," the short teen whooped victoriously.

"Why am I not even surprised you were betting on us...?"

"Because we are _fantastic_ friends. So tell me all about it. What happened?"

"You gave Jere my notebook, he came and found me in my basement, I woke up in a hospital bed, and confessions ensued."

"...does Jeremy's new username have anything to do with this?" Michael looked over at Brooke, surprised. She had been quiet until now.

"...no, he was just getting tired of the old one."

"Aaand where did the new one come from?" Chloe purred.

"Nowhere in particular," he said loudly, his words belied by the heat he could feel rapidly rising in his face. Brooke giggled as Chloe crooned,

"Oh, of course... That would explain why our little _angel boy_ is practically hiding _inside_ your sweatshirt right now."

Jeremy made a strangled noise somewhere between a sob and a groan, muffled by Michael's sweatshirt. Michael nervously played with Jeremy's hair, helping them both relax a bit.

"I d-don't think I need to tell you that! An-and you're upsetting Jeremy!"

"C'mon, guys, we've teased them enough," Christine said. Michael shot a grateful glance at her, and she flashed him a smile in response. "Let's leave them alone, come on, you three."

Christine herded their enthusiastic friends out of the basement. Jeremy didn't reappear until he heard the door close behind them.

"Th-that w-was _awful!"_

"I know, sweetheart. I know..." Michael said softly, frowning and holding his boyf close. One hand cradled Jeremy's head, while the other arm was wrapped around his waist. Jeremy shifted so his legs both hung off one side of the beanbag, and put his arms back around Michael's ribcage.

"G-gosh... I c-can't believe I g-got t-triggered so eas-sily," he hiccupped. "Th-that w-was so d-dumb and I kn-know they didn't m-mean any h-harm but—"

"Hey, hey. It's not your fault, sweetheart. You were freaked out, and your brain panicked."

"Y-yeah... Thanks..."

"But it's okay! 'Cause I'm still the only one who knows how to always make you smile, my angel."

The rosy blush bloomed across Jeremy's cheeks instantly, and soon, he felt the corners of his mouth force themselves upwards into an embarrassed smile. He buried his face in Michael's sweatshirt once again.

"D-dammit, Micah, h-how d-do you d- _do_ that."

"Oh, I dunno," he said fondly, smiling at the nickname and twirling his fingers through Jeremy's hair once again. "Prob'ly something about true love or whatever. 'Cause you're my angel, and I'm your Micah, and it's all fair 'cause you know I love being called Micah _almost_ as much as you love being called angel."

"Uugh, you're the w- _worst_..."

"But you love me, so you can't get rid of me now."

"...ugh."

They were quiet for a bit.

"Y'know, 'Miah' was always sorta a stand-in for 'angel.'"

"Even w-when we were k-kids?"

"I think so. I felt something special for you even back then... I guess I just didn't know what it was until I finally had the epiphany in freshman year."

"J-jeez... That long...?"

"Yes, angel, that long. Now get some sleep while you're here with me. I know you forgot your insomnia meds last night."

"I s-swear, you're l-like y-your own electric b-blanket..." Jeremy muttered, curling up with his Micah's warm arms around him.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

 _ **MellHell** opened the chatroom **JEREMY HEERE IS TOO PERFECT FOR THIS WORLD** to **GossipGurl** , **paaankberry** , **BIATCHQUEEN** , **bestbi** , **DramaticalPrincess** , and **JakeyD**_  
MellHell: Alert alert Mell overboard  
MellHell: Currently sitting on the big beanbag in my basement with an ACTUAL ANGEL BOY SLEEPING IN MY ARMS  
bestbi: wait so now that we all know how hopelessly gay you and heere are for each other you get to yell at us about it  
MellHell: I will legitimately explode if I don't tell someone how utterly perfect my boy is? Um excuse u and ur sass mr goranski  
bestbi: gosh okay  
JakeyD: Ohh man this is gonna be good I can already tell X'D  
JakeyD: pics or it's not happening  
MellHell: MUCH OBLIGED SIR DILLENGER  
MellHell: [no subject]  
MellHell: [no subject]  
bestbi: omg he looks way too comfy that cannot be good for him  
MellHell: PLS EXCUSE BUT I ONLY GIVE MY BOY THE BEST CUDDLES  
JakeyD: Yes yes indeed  
JakeyD: Jesus where's Chrispy Creme she's gonna die when she sees these  
DramaticalPrincess: HERE!!!  
DramaticalPrincess: oh. My gosh!!!!! Mike and Jere cuddles might be the cutest thing I've ever seen??!!?!?!  
DramaticalPrincess: omg I just squeaked out loud!!!!! This is too cute to handle!!!!!!!!  
MellHell: THANK YOU FOR AGREEING

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Jeremy was gradually roused from his peaceful slumber by Michael's soft humming and the occasional quiet laugh. He raised a hand to gently turn his boy's beautiful caramel face towards him and smiled.

"H-hey, Micah."

The smile that washed across Michael's already good-humored features was instantaneous upon Jeremy's use of the name.

"Hello, angel. Feeling rested?"

_And there goes my stupid, blushing, scrunched-up smile... Maybe I'll try to get under his skin..._

"Yes, b-beautiful."

Michael, clearly caught off-guard, blushed spectacularly and covered his face with his hands.

"Jeez, M-Miah... Feeling a bit cocky...?"

"Th-thought I'd g-give you a t-taste of your own m-medicine. And n-now I know h-how to get under y-your skin," he said deviously, tracing the inner edge of Michael's jaw. "Your b-beautiful, warm, dark h-honey s-skin."

His blush deepened, if that was possible, and Jeremy grinned at his success as Michael turned away and buried his face in the back of the beanbag.

"J-jeez, that w-was easier th-than I expected, from how m-merciless you c-can be. All b-bark and no b-bite, huh?"

"I-I'll show _you_ no bite..." Michael mumbled, still blushing horribly. He gently grabbed the freckled devil's face and kissed him. True to his word, he delicately bit at Jeremy's lips, making him giggle.

"Oh, _do_ t-tell me m-more," he whispered, grinning into the kiss.

_Jesus christ, a sassy Jere is the absolute last thing I need right now, but holy shit is it HOT...!_

"I'd be pleased," he purred. _Je. Sus. Christ. This boy is going to be the death of me. Michael Mell. Died because of the overwhelming sass of his beautiful boyfriend. That's it. I have died and am probably in heaven right now. I am making out with an angel, and it is better than any high I have ever ridden. Whu hOLY SHIT WHAT'S HAPPENING._

He opened his eyes to find Jeremy laying on top of him, giggling uncontrollably.

"S-s-s-sens-sory o-ov-verl-load, M-Mi-Micah?"

"Whuh... The hell just..."

"Y-you f-fainted!! I d-decided to play w-with you a b-bit and r-run a f-finger under y-your ch-chin, and y-y-you—!!"

"Oh my god... I can't fucking believe this..."

Jeremy threw his arms around Michael's neck and kissed him lightly in the center of the collarbone, making him blush deeper still.

"Y-you're my b-beautiful, easy-blushing, delic-cate M-Micah, you'd b-better fucking b-believe it."

"Shuh—! Fu—! Gah! God—"

"O-oh m-my god, y-you're t-ten times w-worse than me! Y-you can't even f-form a sentence!"

"Y-you—" He gave up and squeezed his eyes shut, his face feeling like a nuclear reactor. Jeremy's familiar squeaky giggling soon followed.

Jeremy, for his part, thought this was hilarious. He'd never realized how physically sensitive Michael was, but now that he knew, he was totally going to play with him.

"Oh m-man, Mikey, y-you are forever g-going to r-rue this day," he laughed. Michael groaned loudly, his face still the color of red clay.

 _"Christ_ , Heere, you're gonna kill me someday..."

Jeremy inched forward and whispered in his ear.

"I l-looove you, Micah...! You a-are s-simply beautif-ful, with your warm, caramel skin," he traced a finger up the side of Michael's face, making him shiver, "and those p-pretty dark brown eyes," he lightly tapped an eyelid and Michael jumped, "and that g-gorgeous deep m-mahogany hair," he combed his hand through Michael's hair, whose shoulders immediately tensed.

"J-jesus, Miah..." He squirmed.

"Th-this is s-so much fun, I t-totally get why y-you do it to me all th-the time!"

"I-I... D-dammit..."

"C-cat got your t-tongue, s-sunshine?"

"F-fuck you, Heere."

"L-love you too," Jeremy said cheerfully, hugging him. Michael, now very worn out, fell asleep quickly.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

 _ **angelboy** opened the chatroom **i am dating the actual god of beauty** to **GossipGurl** , **paaankberry** , **BIATCHQUEEN** , **bestbi** , **DramaticalPrincess** , and **JakeyD**_  
angelboy: okay discussion time  
angelboy: is Michael Mell not on a godly level of beauty  
bestbi: OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE YOU TWO IM CACKLING  
JakeyD: I want pics  
angelboy: oh you'll get pics  
angelboy: [no subject]  
angelboy: [no subject]  
angelboy: [no subject]  
bestbi: HOLY SHIT WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM  
BIATCHQUEEN: I'M SCREAMING HAHAHAHHHHSAH HE LOOKS EXHAUSTED WTF  
paaankberry: Oh dear  
JakeyD: I have never seen Mellons w/o his glasses you have some kind of skill with that kid Heere *applause*  
angelboy: Oh but hang on  
angelboy: [no subject]  
bestbi: YOU GOT HIS FICKINF SWRATSHIRT  
bestbi: aNF GLASSDS  
bestbi: IM DYINH  
JakeyD: you have my sincerest congratulations I am deeply impressed *bows*  
DramaticalPrincess: THAT'S AWESOME I LOVE IT !!!!  
angelboy: THANKS HAHAHAHH  
angelboy: fUCK JE WOKR UP  
angelboy: SHIT  
bestbi: OH MAN HAHAHAHAHHAHAH  
angelboy: WTF JERE WHY  
paaankberry: oh no bf got the phone  
GossipGurl: This is extremely entertaining X'D X'D X'D X'D X'D  
JakeyD: yo mellons sup  
angelboy: NO  
angelboy: HA I GOT THE PHONE BACK  
bestbi: if mell found out abt this thn u dsrve 2 kno he did the exact same thing 2 u hang on im sending scrnshts  
bestbi: [no subject]  
bestbi: [no subject]  
_**angelboy** invited **MellHell** to the chatroom **i am dating the actual god of beauty**_  
angelboy: SORRY HE WOULD'VE TAKEN MY PHONE AGAIN  
MellHell: how dare you rich I trusted you  
angelboy: ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR, HONEY  
MellHell: You don't even call me honey  
angelboy: What, do you want me to tell them what I call you...? *sideways glance*  
MellHell: FUCK NO  
angelboy: Thought so lmao  
bestbi: LETS JUST TAKE THIS TO THE GROUP CHAT  
_Contact group **THE ＳＱＵＥＥＰ BOIZZZ** re-opened the group chat._  
bestbi: OKAY MELL + HEERE COUNSELING SESSION HAS NOW COMMENCED  
bestbi: THESE TWO ARE HOPELESSLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER  
_**angelboy** changed his username to **sticcboi**_  
sticcboi: UM I AM BI EXCUSE U I THOUGHT U WERE THE TOKEN BI FRIEND U SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF UR ASSUMPTION!!?  
_**MellHell** changed his username to **HeeresMellons**_  
HeeresMellons: I AM WAY TOO GAY FOR MY OWN GOOD  
sticcboi: HEERE'S MELLONS SERIOUSLY WOW V MATURE BAE  
HeeresMellons: YOU LOVE ME FOR IT  
sticcboi: dammit  
bestbi: ooooh v clever I like it XD  
HeeresMellons: [no subject]  
paaankberry: ooh video  
bestbi: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM MELL  
HeeresMellons: I'M NOT SAYING BUT I CAN MAKE HIM GO LIMP AND ITS GREAT FUN  
JakeyD: ohh man you're the best boyfriend X'D  
sticcboi: HedLPP  
DramaticalPrincess: OH NOO JEREEEE  
BIATCHQUEEN: protect the sticc boi  
GossipGurl: KEEP HIM SAFE  
paaankberry: Save him from overly cuddly riend  
sticcboi: do yoU cALL MAKING ME GO LIMP "CUDDLING  
GossipGurl: yeah yeah good point  
sticcboi: HAHAAH VICTORY  
sticcboi: [no subject]  
bestbi: I HAVE NEVER SEEN MELLS FACE THAT RED HOLY SHIT  
DramaticalPrincess: GOOD JOB JERE YOU GO BE THAT STRONG TWIGGY BOY  
paaankberry: why does the video have no sound  
HeeresMellons: TO PROTECT MY SANITY  
JakeyD: How hard were you laughing Jeremy I can barely see Mellons through the shaking X'D  
sticcboi: I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET HIM SIDEWAYS EARLIER TODAY AND ITS SO MUCH FUN I TOTALLY SEE WHY HE LOVES TEASING ME SO MUCH  
HeeresMellons: you are a savage man Heere  
sticcboi: touché X'D I will not deny this  
bestbi: your teasing relationship is like me and jakes sexual relationship  
JakeyD: dammit I knew you'd bring that up at some point  
bestbi: ok but story time  
HeeresMellons: NO  
JakeyD: YOU FUCKIN WOULDN'T  
sticcboi: DON'T EVEN  
HeeresMellons: he literally just threw his phone across the room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD YOU THIS WAS HORRIBLE HORRIBLE SELF INDULGENCE AND NOTHING ELSE DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU
> 
> OH MY GOD I'M CACKLING THESE TWO I SWEAR
> 
> ALSO FUCKIN CHRISPY CREME HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAGAGDHFHDBCHFBCSJ
> 
> I WILL GO DOWN WITH EVERY HEADCANON IN THIS FIC


	4. ＭＯＲＥ　Ａｎｇｓｔ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ａｎｇｓｔｙ　ｂｏｙｓｓｓｓ　feat. cute video game sequence

"Catch!"

"F-fu—Hah! Gotcha! S-so, w-where'd we l-leave off again? L-level 11?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"A-alright, lesgo!!"

"Hoo! Ready?"

"B-born ready."

"Go!"

"Wave one! Look out!"

"Harpies!" They yelled simultaneously.

"Watch my back for a-a sec! I've got 'em!"

"On it! Woah, zombies at 3 o'clock!"

"Fuck! Okay, harpies a-are toast! I-I'm comin', dude!"

"Fffffuuu—!!"

"W-woah!! Watch out!!"

"Got it!"

"Dodge—"

"Get 'em!!"

"Yo, swap!"

Michael didn't question him, just shoved controller two into his hands and snatched controller one.

"Hide behind the desk!"

"Way ahead o-of you!"

Jeremy's phone started buzzing.

"Fuck! Can you—"

"J-just let it g-go to voicemail," Jeremy said dismissively. "Hey! Behind you!"

"Swap again?"

"Y-yeah."

"Augh! Hang on, switch back!"

"Hhhbgh—!"

"'Kay, okay, we're good to swap now."

"Gotcha!"

"Holy—"

"A-almost—"

"Woah! Hang on—!!"

"On it!"

"Bam!!"

"Dodge!"

"Woah!!"

"Slow down—"

"Here we go—"

"Almo—Gotcha!!"

"Nice!!"

"H-hell yeah!!"

"WoAH but don't—"

"—get cocky, I know! Look o-out below!"

"Gah! Got it!"

"Awesome! Wai—FUCK!"

"I GOTCHU, BOY!"

"Jesus, thanks!!"

"'Cour—WOAH, look out!!"

"It's—"

"Final wave!!" They both shouted excitedly, leaning forward towards the screen.

"Y-your right!!"

"Oh, sh—Below you!!"

"Gahck!!"

"Ba-ba-ba-bam!! Hooah, four down!!"

"Fuck yeah! Woah, got some a-armored ones at 9 o'clock!!"

"Harpies, your game!!"

"On it, on it!"

"H—Two more! One!!"

"Oh my god!! Come on, c'mon!! FUCK!! I'M OUTTA AMMO!!"

"Holy shiiit, holyshitholyshit!!! I only have one grenade left, but—"

"DO IT!!"

"Fingers crossed! Get outta the way!!"

"I know!!"

"Fire in the hole!"

Michael's avatar threw the grenade at the ceiling just above the single remaining harpy, and it blew up upon contact with the pixellated sheet metal. The harpy's HP bar blinked red, then disappeared.

_LEVEL COMPLETE!_

_"HOLY SHIT!!"_

"OH MY—!! HOLY—!! _YES!!"_

Both jumped up and down and hollered at their win.

"D-don't forget to save!!"

"Oh _hell_ no. That is _not_ happening again!"

"Good!"

Michael clicked _YES_ on the dialogue box _SAVE?_ before tossing the controller aside and tackling Jeremy.

"W-woah!! Mikey!" He laughed, throwing his arms around Michael nevertheless.

"Now I get a celebratory kiss like I've always daydreamed about!"

"G-gosh, okay, okay!" Jeremy squeaked, his voice cracking.

"Yess!"

It was messy and badly aimed, but they were both grinning so widely it wouldn't have worked anyways.

"G-god, you're t-terrible at this," Jeremy laughed, gently pushing the larger boy off of him. He sat up, then, grabbing the front of Michael's sweatshirt with both hands, pulled him forward. _"This_ is h-how you celebrate b-beating level el-leven of AOTD. F-follow my lead..."

Jeremy pulled his hands, and the sweatshirt and its occupant with them, to his chest. Their lips met slowly, deliberately. _And now... The game begins,_ Jeremy thought deviously. Michael's hands had automatically gone to Jeremy's head and back. _So... I get him lost in the kiss... And then..._

The slimmer boy casually moved his hands to Michael's lower back as he tipped his head further to the right and deepened the kiss, lightly biting the inner edges of Michael's lips. He was careful this time to cautiously poke at each sensory boundary before crossing it, not wanting Michael to faint again. He gently involved his tongue, and Michael responded in kind. In the same moment, Jeremy subtly moved his hands under Michael's sweatshirt and shirt and onto his warm back. Michael shivered at the touch and at Jeremy's cold hands. After a dozen or two more seconds, Jeremy started running his fingers in swirling motions across Michael's back, who shook violently again.

Michael broke the kiss and crossed his arms over Jeremy's back, hands on his bony shoulders.

"Sh-shit, Jere. Your hands are like _ice."_

"I kn-know," Jeremy giggled squeakily.

"God, you're figuring me out way too fast."  
Jeremy's hands slowly crept up Michael's back.

"R-really? 'Cause I'm p-pretty s-sure I've had th-thirteen years t-to get to kn-know you, b-beautiful."

"Dammit."

Jere could feel the heat radiating off of Michael's face.

"I d-don't think y-you've ev-ver talked about it, b-but I c-can tell y-you're really insecure about y-your body. And n-now I kn-know the b-best way to g-get under your sk-skin is b-by c-complim-menting you... Whassup?"

Michael turned his face away and loosened his arms around Jeremy.

"I don't..."

"N-no, we're t-talking ab-bout it. That's th-the best w-way to work th-through it."

"I... I dunno, Jere, I..."

"I'm not l-letting g-go of y-you till you tell m-me."

"Tell you what?!"

"What you d-don't like ab-bout yours-self! I-I'm k-keeping my l-legs ar-round y-your waist a-and my cold h-hands on your w-warm back unt-til you sp-spill!"

"I could always just—" A teasing hand tickled Jeremy's hair.

"N-nO!" Jeremy squeaked, tightening his grip around Michael.

"...yeah, we both know I wouldn't," Michael sighed. "Fine, say I'll humor you."

"Cool!" He thought for a moment, then rested the side of his head against Michael's chest and started talking. "S-so... I d-don't r-really rememb-ber when it st-started... D-do you?"

"...jeez, um... I think... Oh, right. _That_. Yeah, I remember... Like, mid-May of first grade. Remember the day—you probably don't—that little snot-nosed bully was tormenting me about my glasses? And he said something about... About m-my weight...?"

"I r-remember. I g-got so m-mad at him... R-remember how I got se-sent to the p-principal for giving him a b-bloody nose?"

"Yeah," Michael laughed. "That was awesome."

"T-totally worth it!"

"Hell yes."

They both fell silent. Jeremy shifted his arms slightly, making Michael jump.

"S-sorry!"

"'Sokay... A-anyways, I guess..."

"S-so..." Jeremy said softly, tightening his grip while moving his arms as little as possible against Michael's skin. Michael gritted his teeth against his overly sensitive skin's reaction. "What n-next...?"

"Uhhhgh... Whassis name... Alex, I think. Sometime in third grade. That kid that I was friends with, then he suddenly started being an asshole to you and tried to get me to turn on you too?"

"Mh-hm...?"

"Well..." Michael coughed quietly. "...I... I never told you, but... He... He kept... After I stood up for you..." He trailed off.

"...y-yeah...?"

"...dammit, I tried to forget about this... He'd..."

Jeremy suddenly realized what Michael was saying and hugged him tighter.

"I-I'm sorry, Mikey... W-why..."

"I didn't want you to get beat up too! I-I guess I thought it was paying you back for defending me in first grade, and... I cared about you too much to see you get hurt..."

"Oh, g-god, M-Mikey, p- _promise_ me th-that's the only t-time you d-did s-something like th-that..."

Michael smiled grimly and hugged Jeremy close.

"Sorry, but I can't lie to you like that, Miah. Next time was sixth grade... Yeah, that was when it got bad..."

"I-I r-remember..."

"Yeah, I... I'm sorry, sweetheart, but... You kinda... Don't."

"N-no, you d- _didn't_..."

"One time when we were at the mall... And they were pointing and whispering and laughing... I t-told you to wait for me outside when we left, that I had to go to the bathroom, but... I confronted them. And... They... _Shit_ , Jere, they cut me down so fast I didn't know what to do with myself..."

"W-what d-did they s-say...?"

"Heh... The usual... Loser, loner, creepy, weirdo... But I coulda weathered that. Stuff I hadn't got much before that was... Ugly, fat... Fatass, lardass... Fatso... Butters... Chipmunk..."

"B-but th-that's not—"

"I _know_ , baby. I know. But it just... It bounces around in your head, yeah? And... From then on, whenever they got me alone..."

"I l-love you... Y-you're so b-beautiful... In every w-way..."

"S-stop... Please... It feels so wrong to hear that. I couldn't—can't stop thinking... That they're right. I've always had a weight problem. Always... And I'm too much of a lazy-ass to do anything about it..."

"Mikey..." Jeremy gently pulled his hands out from under Michael's shirt, then leaned back and placed them on his arms. He looked the bespectacled teen in the eye and spoke softly. "Wh-who in your l-life c-cares about th-that? As l-long as you're hea-healthy, wh-who c- _cares?"_

Michael wished he could look away from those desperately searching, sad, blue eyes, especially with the burning tears he felt behind his own, brown ones. But as it had always been, Jeremy was the one person whose gaze he couldn't hide from.

"I don't... Know," he finally said.

"N-no one," Jeremy supplied, his eyes sadder than ever. "N-no one th-that m-matters. N-not me. N-not our f-friends. N-not your m-moms, n-not an-nyone wh-who's g-got their head on st-straight. A-and anyone wh-who does c-care, c-can answer to ev-veryone wh-who d-doesn't!"

"How can you be sure?" It hurt to say; the words seemed rent from his throat by some inner demon that had been set loose.

"I c-can p-prove the others l-later. F-for now, j-just... Just t-tell me... S-specifically what d-don't you like ab-bout y-yourself... A-and I'll t-tell you w-why I l-love it. Ok-kay?"

"Do I have to?" The words sounded stupid as soon as they left his mouth. Jeremy seemed unfazed, however.

"I j-just... Want y-you to love yourself a-as m-much as I l-love you."

Michael bit his lip and blinked hard, fighting the tears.

"What if I'm not worth it...?" He whispered.

"Y-you're _always_ w-worth it." _Of course, it's not like I don't have the same thoughts all the time... But right now's for Micah, not me._  "D'you think I'm j-just making st-stuff up when I s-say all the stuff I l-love about y-you?"

"No, of course not—"

"Th-then what c-can I say t-to g-get you t-to see yours-self the way I d-do?"

This made Michael stop. He suddenly realized what he needed to hear. Finally able to break away from Jeremy's gaze, he stared determinedly at his chapped lips.

"...okay. I'll... I'll do it."

"Ok-kay. So, uh... F-fire away."

Michael paused, thinking, feeling his inner demons swirling in his heart like spilled oil in an ocean. _But... If he can help me... If he can really be my angel..._

"My cheeks," he said softly, carefully looking at the pale, dry lips so his gaze didn't become ensnared in Jeremy's. "I..." He swallowed. "I hate how they look all... Swollen and... Huge."

The chapped lips turned upwards into a soft smile.

"W-when you smile," Jeremy said, "it's like it fills up the whole room. Y-your face gets all round and rosy with y-your cheeks, and y-you j-just... _Beam_. You d-don't know w-what those d-dimples d-do to my p-poor heart."

Michael, poor Michael, had not realized how deeply this little exercise would strike his own heart. His lips were tightly pursed, his chin was worried with wrinkles, and he felt the edges of tears threatening to break over the brink of his eyelids. He felt the stems of his glasses slide off of his ears and heard the soft click of the glasses being folded.

"M-Michael..."

"It-it's okay," he said, hurriedly scrubbing at his eyes with his sweatshirt sleeve. "Just... M-moving on."

"O-okay..."

Not wearing his glasses helped considerably, as Jeremy's face was blurred enough not to be a visual snare. He smiled weakly at the slightly shorter boy, who returned it with a cautious, blurry smile of his own. Gathering himself, Michael continued.

"I... Really hate my s-sides and... And my s-stomach," he choked out. "I w—" He faltered, his vision fuzzing further with more tears.

"Y-you..." Jeremy thought for a moment, then smiled again. "G-gosh, y-you're s-so warm and... It f-feels so c-comfortable and s-safe when we're cuddling, and... It was s-so s-s-scary when I f-found you s-so thin an-nd c-cold last m-month... I l-love this big, w-warm, s-safe M-Mikey."

"I... F-fuck," he swore, as tears rolled down his face. He quickly patted his face dry with his sleeves again. While his eyes were buried in the fabric, he felt the touch of a pair of badly chapped lips on his forehead. Another wave of tears came forth, and Jeremy's thin arms wrapped around him.

"I-I love y-you..."

"I... I th-think... Are we done...?"

"O-one more? I p-promise it'll h-help."

"...okay."

Michael sat up straight.

"I... My arms," he whispered. "I hate how they're shaped, how they look hanging at my sides... It... Sounds really stupid, but..."

"Th-that doesn't m-make i-it any l-less real," Jeremy finished. "I kn-know. B-but I d-don't think it a-at a-all. I j-just know I feel safe an-nd w-warm and l-loved and happy with y-your arms ar-round me, an-d th-that's all th-that counts."

In the pause that followed, Michael wrapped his arms back around Jeremy and more tears choked any words from his throat.

"Th—B-better?"

"Y-yeah," he mumbled into Jeremy's shoulder.

"'M g-glad. You w-wanna do some homework or-or s-something? G-get y-your mind s-somewhere else f-for aw-while?"

"Sounds good," Michael replied, sniffing and accepting his glasses back from Jeremy.

"Thanks... Guess I'm more than a little lucky you've known me so long, huh...? You knew exactly how to help me..."

Jeremy shrugged before rolling over to the other small beanbag, where his backpack lay tossed aside from when he'd arrived earlier.

"Something... S-similar... C-came up in th-therapy a f-few... Y-yeah."

Michael frowned, sitting up and dragging his own backpack to his side.

"Therapy? What for?"

"Th-th-the... F-fuck. I d-didn't mean t-to s-say that."

"I mean. I won't make you talk about it if it brings up memories or some shit... But just... I worry, y'know, dude?"

Jeremy grimaced.

"N-not now. I'll t-tell you about it s-sometime, b-but... N-not n-now. N-now's h-homework, h-hm?"

"Yeah, totally."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *puts one foot up on the bow of the ship* *pulls out telescope* thar be more angst on the horizon...


	5. Ａｎｇｓｔｙ　Ｊｅｒｅｍｙ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy I'm back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's accomplishments:  
> · Woke up w/o incident  
> · Mowed the lawns  
> · Finished this chapter  
> · Posted this chapter  
> · Thought up some really good headcanons while mowing the lawn  
> · Sang at full volume in the backyard while my neighbors were sitting in their yard on the other side of the fence  
> · Yelled enthusiastically abt colors w/sharktrash
> 
> And the day's not even over yet who knows what I'll do next oh man

"H-hey," Jeremy said casually as he entered the basement. Michael sat on a beanbag, holding his guitar.

 _"Good day sunshine,"_ Michael sang, grinning, by way of a greeting. Jeremy replied with a scrunchy, pink-cheeked smile. "Where you been? We coulda been slayin' some undead all afternoon!"

"Th-th-ther..." Jeremy's smile fell to a nervous squint. "...um."

"You...?"

"I-I, u-uhm, j-just, n-n-n—uh, I-I..." He had the look of a deer in the headlights, stuttering on words he didn't have.

Michael set his guitar in the couch behind him, strode over to Jeremy, and fell to his right knee. He rested his left arm on his left knee and offered Jeremy his right hand.

"Breathe, hon."

"I-I j-j-just—"

Michael gently pressed the pad of his right thumb to Jeremy's lips, silencing him.

"Hey, now. Deep breaths, Miah."

Jeremy squeezed his eyes shut. _Breathe, Heere. In... Hold... Out... Hold... In... Hold... Out... Hold... Relax._ His breathing stabilized as he took slow, steady breaths through his nose. Eventually, Michael's hand moved to cup his cheek, and he opened his eyes to see a kindly smiling face.

"You okay?"

"I-I, j-just, s-sorry, I j-just d-didn't w-wanna w-worry you c-cause I've b-been g-going t-t-to therap-py ev-ver since th-th-the, the, the..." he trailed off desperately.

"I get it, you don't gotta say it, sweetheart."

"Th-thanks..."

"'S what I'm here for."

Jeremy put a hand over Michael's and smiled with only a trace of nervousness.

"L-love you..."

"I love you too. You wanna talk about anything, or you good?"

"I th-think I'm g-good."

"Alright, angel. _Any time at all, all you gotta do is call, and I'll be there..._ Yeah?"

"Y-yeah," the slightly shorter boy smiled.

"Alright. So, how bout that US History packet?"

"S-sounds good, I g-guess," Jeremy said.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

"Come on, Miah, just stay awake for a couple more problems and we'll be done," Michael said patiently. He himself was having a very hard time focusing on math when there was a sleepy (read: adorable) Jeremy leaning into his side. (not that Jeremy wasn't _always_ adorable, Michael reflected, just that he was particularly so when he was curled up, his hair mussed and his face relaxed.) "You forgot your insomnia pills again last night, didn't you?"

"M-m-maybe," Jeremy yawned, snuggling closer to Michael. "K-kinna... Hard t'remember... 'F I t-took 'em..."

"...yyyeah we're not finishing this tonight," Michael resigned, reaching over Jeremy to pack away their math work. He picked up Jeremy's phone and shot off a text to Mr. Heere - _Yo, Michael here. Jere's basically asleep and I don't have the heart to wake him, so he'll be over here tonight, just FYI._

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Michael opened his eyes to darkness. All was still. His feet were warm under the blanket, and his headphones hugged his neck comfortably. He frowned, looking around, wondering what had awoken him before his alarm.

It didn't take long for him to solve the mystery. Jeremy was twitching and muttering fitfully in his sleep. Every 90 seconds or so, 1-3 particularly strong spasms would overtake him, accompanied by soft whimpering. In between, less violent twitches, at seemingly random intervals, would be punctuated with small hisses. The muttering was barely recognizable as speech, and Michael could only pick out a word here and there. None of them sounded good. "No..." "Ouch..." "Hate..." "Terrible..." "Die..." Michael quickly lost the patience to leave Jeremy asleep and let the dream pass. He gently shook Jeremy's shoulder and softly called his name.

"Hey... Miah, angel, sweetheart, wake up... Wake up, wake up..." Slowly, Jeremy clawed his way back to consciousness.

"M-M-Mikey..."

"Hey, are you alright? That looked like some bad dream."

Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael's waist and breathed in his familiar, comforting scent—popcorn, cherry-flavored things, and weed. It sounded stupid and immature when he actually defined it like that, but the fabric that trapped the unique smell meant safety to him.

"S-sorry 'f I w-woke y-you..."

"No, 's fine, sweetheart. Y'okay?"

"'S j-just... B-been having n-nightmares ab-bout the S-SQUIP..."

"Wanna talk about it...?"

Jeremy sighed into Michael's sweatshirt and nodded.

"It's j-just... It w-was... It w-was saying h-horrible s-stuff ag-gain and m-making m-me repeat it a-and p-punishing m-me i-if I d-didn't o-or i-if I d-did s-something w-wrong, l-like i-if I l-let m-my s-stutter show o-or if I s-slouched o-or l-looked a-at y-you f-for t-too long o-or-or... I-it w-was like l-last year a-all o-over ag-gain, i-it was aw-wful..."

Michael adjusted his arms around Jeremy, and Jeremy's hands curled into fists, clutching handfuls of the back of Michael's sweatshirt.

"You wanna go get some soda and drive around a little? I'll sing in the car," Michael said softly, his whisper muffled slightly by Jeremy's hair.

"Y-yeah," Jeremy mumbled, and started to push himself up, but Michael stopped him.

"I'll carry you, you don't gotta stand up."

"Th-thanks..."

Michael padded up the stairs, arms full of Jeremy, and quietly slipped through the slightly ajar door. Stepping into his Heelys—he always left them tied—and crouching to pick up Jeremy's Converse, he unlocked the front door and stepped out into the cool night air.

"Jere... I've still got my lanyard on... Could you unlock my car for me?"

Jeremy nodded and dug the keys from between them. Michael opened the passenger door, deposited Jeremy inside, and closed it again.

Once he was in the driver's seat and the car was on, Michael plugged in his phone to the aux port and dialed up his Night Drives playlist. Rolling down the front windows, he let Jeremy latch onto his right hand and pulled away from his driveway.

Jeremy leaned against the door and closed his eyes, letting the soothing breeze play against his face. His senses were full of the calming sound of Michael humming along to the quiet music, the comforting squeeze of Michael's warm hand around his, the pleasant chill of the wind against his slightly sweaty face, and the soft rushing of tires on asphalt.

They eventually came to a gentle stop and Michael detached his hand from Jeremy's so he could put the car in park and turn it off. Jeremy opened his eyes and looked around. They were at the gas station 7/11.

"Wanna wait in the car?"

Jeremy shook his head.

"N-no, I... No."

"'Kay. Your shoes are there on the floor."

Jeremy hurriedly pulled on his shoes and fumbled with the laces as Michael exited the car and crossed over to open the passenger door.

"C'mon," he said, holding out a hand to Jeremy. Jeremy quickly took it with his own and closed the door behind him.

"W-what time even i-is it?"

"Dunno, like... One?"

"G-god, you're c-crazy t-to g-go driving s-so late," Jeremy sniggered as they pushed through the doors of the convenience store.

"I like to think it's part of my charm," Michael smiled, making a beeline for the slushie machine. "You want some slush? Or a soda?"

"J-just some C-Code Red," Jeremy mumbled. "I'll w-wait f-for you, th-though..."

"M'kay, sweetheart."

Jeremy leaned against Michael as the taller boy filled his plastic cup with red slush.

"I always look at this shit and think, 'this is probably, like, 1/3 water, 1/3 red 40, and 1/3 corn syrup,'" Michael commented as he popped a lid onto the cup and stuck a straw into the unnaturally red ice within.

"And y-yet y-you st-still drink it l-like i-it's th-the elixir of l-life," Jeremy snickered.

"Eh. What can I say, it's addictive." Michael shrugged and grinned before taking a heavy drag on the straw. "Let's get your Dew and blow this joint."

"S-sounds l-like a p-plan."

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Michael drove along the gently winding road on the outskirts of town, heading back in the general direction of his house. Jeremy seemed to be asleep, his head resting against the door, hair fluttering in the breeze. His fingers were curled loosely around Michael's on the center console. His head was turned such that Michael couldn't see if his eyes were open or if he really was asleep.

Jeremy was, in fact, awake. He looked out at the starry sky and the trees rolling past, thinking about his dream.

He'd had plenty of nightmares about the SQUIP before, of course. What if Michael hadn't come in at the last minute, what if the Mountain Dew Red hadn't worked, what if, what if, what if. His dream tonight, however, scared him much more than usual. It had gone through the play and everything after as it had actually happened, except one thing: the SQUIP was still there. Well, sort of. It was scary because it had just barely been dissolved enough that he couldn't tell which voice in his head was the SQUIP, and which was his, and which was his friends, his dad, his enemies... It would give him erratic, uncontrollable shocks when he did something wrong, and it had ended up driving him crazy enough to start hurting his friends. Thankfully, Michael had woken him up before he'd done anything too serious.

He felt locked up. Which is to say, he felt like he couldn't talk to Michael about anything that had happened between the Halloween party and Rich showing him Michael's notebook. He hadn't even told him about how the SQUIP had shocked him, how it had physically penalized him. He always just used the vague word "punishment." On some level, he didn't actually believe that Michael had forgiven him for abandoning him twice. Whenever Michael said "I love you," a small part of Jeremy's brain whispered, _how can you possibly love me when I've done so much to hurt you?_ He had spent so much time clawing and scrabbling at a sliding slope, trying to make up for past mistakes. But the slope just kept getting steeper. Every time he looked into those achingly beautiful dark brown eyes, Jeremy couldn't help but wonder. _Why are you lying like this? Why aren't you honest about the stinging of the scars I've given you? Why do you dry my tears when I've let so many of yours flow free? Why don't you leave me like I left you?_ He almost _wanted_ Michael to just say "fuck off" and abandon him, if only to clear away his doubts.

He knew logically that the best course of action was to talk to Michael about his feelings, but some part of him just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to dredge up those bad memories for Michael.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Jeremy woke up the next morning feeling decidedly unrested. There was an empty, distinctly Michael-free (i.e., _cold)_ space beside him. He craned his neck around to see that, indeed, Michael had gone. He didn't spare the empty spot anything more than an unhappy groan.

"Rruugh..."

He pushed himself up and stretched, then, rubbing his eyes and yawning, headed upstairs to get some cereal while the shower was occupied.

Which, as it turned out, was not long. As Jeremy was pouring his cereal (Cheerios? Raisin Bran? Chex? He was too groggy to know or care), Michael entered the kitchen wearing shorts and a tank top. His hair was still slightly damp from the shower. He smiled when he saw Jeremy, ruffled the smaller boy's hair and kissed him on the head.

"Morning, sweetheart. Sleep okay?"

Jeremy grunted noncommittally.

"Eh. N-not really."

"Aw, that sucks. Guess you could sleep in the car on the way to school, right?"

"Yeah," Jeremy sighed, leaning against Michael. "Sh-shower free?"

"Mhm."

"C-cool... I'll g-go shower then..." Yawning again, he exited the kitchen towards Michael's bathroom.

After 13 years, they knew each other's houses like their own. They'd had so many unplanned sleepovers that it wasn't even something to be planned for anymore—just life as usual. At some point, standards had set themselves. Jeremy's towel hung on the doorknob of Michael's bathroom, and in the family bathroom of the Heere residence, a second towel was squeezed onto Jeremy's towel bar. They used each other's shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, and toothpaste, and they each had a spare toothbrush at the other's house. Jeremy always kept a couple spare pads and a small pill container of anxiety and insomnia meds in his backpack. Michael only ever ended up sleeping in his own bedroom on the rare occasions when he and Jeremy weren't sleeping at the same house. When they were at the Mells' house, it was always the basement, and at the Heeres', it was Jeremy's room.

Closing the bathroom door, Jeremy ambled over to the shower and turned on the water, then began to disrobe.

In the shower, he leaned against the tiled wall, which was still wet with condesation from Michael's shower. He slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting with his back against the tiles and his knees pressed against his _damned_ un-bound chest. He closed his eyes and sighed. What to do, what to do...

A million remarks about how disgusting his body was streamed through his mind, but he was so used to this that he could just loudly think over it.

Anyways.

What the _hell_ was he gonna do about this whole I-Know-I-Should-Be-Telling-Michael-About-What-The-SQUIP-Did-To-Me-And-Why-I-Left-Him-The-Second-Time-But-I-Have-A-Chemical-Imbalance-In-My-Brain-That-Has-Me-Convinced-That-The-Only-Thing-Talking-To-Him-About-It-Would-Do-Is-Bring-Up-Bad-Memories thing? God, he hated anxiety. Oh, yeah, speaking of which, he had to remember to take his meds when he got out of the shower... He yawned again. _Having a messed-up brain is tiring as heck... Ugh, I still gotta actually get clean, I can't just sit here..._ He stood up, yawning yet again, and set about actually getting clean.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

"You're so lucky we have the same schedule, man. The hell would you do with yourself if you didn't have me to lead you around while your brain's half dead?"

"Mng," Jeremy grunted tiredly, staring unfocused at the unsettlingly bright yellow macaroni and cheese before him. _I'm still convinced Michael was right in second grade when he said that they put plastic and highlighter ink in the cheese in school lunches..._

"Oh, man, yeah, I remember that," Michael laughed.

_Fuck... Didn't mean to... Did I say that out loud...? Or am I just a lot less sane even than I thought I was?_

Michael grinned and threw his left arm around Jeremy.

"You always accidentally say all your thoughts out loud when you're really tired," he chuckled softly, so no one but Jeremy could hear him speak. "It's one of your charms, in my opinion. Then again, everything about you is a charm, in my opinion."

"Hey, boys, what're we whispering about?" Jenna inquired, snapping her gum as she sat down beside Jeremy with her lunch tray. Brooke and Chloe weren't far behind, taking their usual seats on Jenna's left. All three girls smiled in greeting.

"Nothing really," Michael said airily, retracting the arm that was around Jeremy's shoulders and starting in on his sushi. "Wassup with you?"

 _"UGH_ , Fletcher gave us so _. Much._ Homework," Chloe complained dramatically. "I _swear_ , that man has it _out_ for his students!! Like, I don't need to spend three _hours_ reading about the fucking _Huang Dynasty_ or whatever the fuck! Like, _Gaw_ -duh!"

"Oh my _God_ , I am _so_ in the same boat with Wenman right now!!" Brooke responded. Jenna and Michael nodded fervently. Jeremy continued nodding off.

"Right, though?! The amount of work she gave third period was in _sane_ ," Michael agreed. He loved talking to the girls. Maybe it was his inner Gay Guy™ instincts kicking in, but something was just _fun_ about the girls' overly dramatic, gossipy banter, and he couldn't resist joining in.

"Hey, you four girlth," Rich greeted snarkily, assuming his standard place to Michael's right. Jake, seating himself on Rich's right, nodded.

"Yo, kids. Sup?"

"Not much," Michael said casually, returning the nod with a flick of his own head and a quick grin. He transitioned easily from _girl talk_ —very emotive and wordy—to _guy talk_ —quite simplistic and largely nonverbal—and back again. It was a skill, to be sure, and it was one he was relatively proud of.

Meanwhile, Jeremy's eyes were rolling further and further back, and he seemed to be fighting hard to maintain the centimeter of empty space that remained between his forehead and the tabletop. He was slowly but surely losing the fight. All eyes, plus Jenna's phone camera, at the round table were on Jeremy as his messy brown waves bobbed ever so slightly once... Twice... Three times... Aaaand... _Thnp_.

"There he goes," Michael said softly, smiling down at Jeremy and putting a hand on his back. Jeremy sighed tiredly.

"It's cold in here," he mumbled under his breath. He probably didn't mean to say that, but just thought it and it came out of his mouth. He did that he was tired. It was impossibly endearing.

"Wanna switch coats?" Michael offered quietly.

"That sounds _awesome_ ," Jeremy muttered. Again, not meaning to. Michael could tell because the stutter was gone. _Funny how that works._

He pulled Jeremy's cardigan off him, then pulled off his own sweatshirt and applied it to an exhaustedly compliant Jeremy. He slipped on Jeremy's cardigan, because he didn't feel right without something over his tank. Looking to his left again, he found Jeremy already fully asleep, head resting on his hands, which were covered with the overly long sleeves of Michael's sweatshirt. The now-cardiganed teen took off his headphones and put them over Jeremy's ears, then dialed up some quiet piano sonatas on his phone. Looking down at the sleeping boy, Michael felt a faint blush stinging at his cheeks. Holy _shit_ did Jeremy look cute as _hell_ in that sweatshirt. He'd somehow forgotten since the last time he...

Oh.

Oops.

Everyone at the table was staring at them, in various states of failing to conceal a grin.

"Tho, uh... Everything'th going good with you guyth?" Rich snickered.

Michael shot him a glare that he knew probably looked more befuddled than annoyed. Michael was bad at glares.

"Yes, Richard."

"Ooh, full name. Now I _know_ I'm in trouble."

Jake snorted, and the girls sniggered.

"Oh, leave him alone. Let the man gaze lovingly at his bae," the tall boy said, slapping Rich on the back and grinning. Just then, an eighth person arrived, huffing and out of breath.

"And our Christine, the Drama Queen, makes her customary unexpected and dramatic entrance!" Chloe declared.

"What kept you?" Michael asked, slurping his slushie in an attempt to tame what remained of his blush.

"Had to... Run... Grab... Left my script... On the stage," she panted, falling into her seat on Chloe's left. She slapped her script down on the table and dropped her backpack with a loud _THNK_.

"Jethuth Chritht, Chrithpy Creme! The hell do you have in that thing, a bunch of brickth? It thoundth like it'th, like, a hundred poundth!"

Christine grimaced.

"Reyes... Asked me to... Tote some props back to... To the rental shop for him," she said, still catching her breath. The other girls groaned sympathetically, and Michael said, "that sucks..."

She shrugged.

"I can take it. I'm a strong, independent woman," she added, grinning and jokingly flexing an arm. Noticing Jeremy, her smile softened. "He forget his meds again last night?" She asked Michael. He let out a breath of laughter through his nose.

"Yeah... Poor kid. I was barely able to get him five hours of sleep..." He flipped the sweatshirt's hood onto Jeremy's head and laid an arm over his shoulders. "But, hey, if he can catch up on it now, I'll take it."

He looked up to find several affectionate smiles being cast in their direction.

 _"Gawd_ you two are cute as _hel_ -luh," Chloe sighed, resting her head on her shoulder and gazing at the couple.

"That's one for the Snap story," Jenna said, smiling and typing on her phone at expert speed. "People are gonna eat this _up_ , it is _too_ cute. Oh em _jee._ "

The bell rang.

"Shit, we gotta bounce," Jake said, hefting his backpack on and holding his hand out to Rich.

"Coming, thweetie," Rich said sweetly, making Jake roll his eyes as the shorter boy took his hand and they walked away together.

"See you in sixth period, you two!" Christine chirped to the two remaining boys before skipping off.

"See ya," Jenna, Brooke, and Chloe chorused.

"Hey, sweetheart," Michael said softly, replacing the headphones around his neck and putting his phone in his pants pocket. He gently shook Jeremy awake.

"W-what...?" He yawned, looking around and blinking groggily.

"Lunch is over, Miah. Gotta get to history," he smiled down at Jeremy. Jeremy leaned against him sleepily.

"C-can we j-just g-go home...?"

"Come on, just three more hours. You can do it."

"F-fine," Jeremy grumbled, slowly standing up and pulling on his backpack. Abandoning his uneaten food, he ambled in the direction of their next class, hand-in-hand with Michael. 


	6. Ｐａｎｉｃ　Ａｔｔａｃｋ　Ｊｅｒｅｍｙ　＋　Ｔｏｔａｌｌｙ　Ｕｎｒｅｌａｔｅｄ　Ｃｏｍｅｄｙ　＋　Ａ　Ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　Ｍｉｃｈａｅｌ　Ａｎｇｓｔ　Ｆｏｒ　Ｙｏｕｒ　Ｔｒｏｕｂｌｅ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone is angsty and I laugh my ass off

"Ok-kay, t-team meeting t-time."

"What's up?" Christine asked, sounding vaguely concerned.

"W-we have a f-friend in n-need, g-guys. Michael n-needs us r-right now."

"Oh, god, what'th wrong with headphoneth?"

"Don't sound so apprehensive, bae, it sounds like you don't wanna help Mike," Jake sniggered.

"What're we doing?" Chloe asked. "Mike get beat up? 'M I gonna have to smack a bitch?"

"N-no," Jeremy laughed. Everyone else chuckled too. "This is m-more, uh... Emotional, I g-guess? S-so, um, h-he has bod-dy i-image issues. A-and h-he d-doesn't b-believe m-me th-that you g-guys d-don't care ab-bout h-how he l-looks."

There were several hums of understanding, and Jeremy could practically see the others nodding along.

"S-so, uh... I w-was hoping w-we c-could, like, I d-dunno, m-make little c-cards f-for him t-to put ev-verywhere, th-that say st-stuff like 'y-you're beautiful' a-and 'we l-love y-you' and... S-stuff. S-someth-thing l-like th-that?"

"That's really sweet!" Brooke piped up. "We could, like, each make a few little things, like... That we're good at making? I dunno, someone bounce an idea back at me."

"I like that," Jenna said thoughtfully. "Like, Chrissy could do a little video of herself being peppy and encouraging? And Rich and Jake... Could write a note with some stupid relevant jokes?"

Laughter.

"Brooke is a better artist than she gets credit for; I'm sure she'd do some little doodles for this!!" Chloe offered brightly.

"Wh—!? You didn't have to tell them!!" Brooke squeaked, obviously blushing.

"Th-that sounds awesome!!" Jeremy grinned.

"S-so w-when can w-we meet up ab-bout this?"

"Mall food court, two o'clock on Saturday?" Jenna suggested promptly.

"Totally!" Chloe cried excitedly.

"If she's going, then I am too," Brooke said.

"Ok-kay!" Jeremy squeaked.

"Thoundth cool!" Rich enthused.

"I'm with Rich," Jake said quickly.

"I can't wait! This is gonna be so totally awesome!!" Christine squealed.

"That's it then! See everyone on Saturday!!"

"Bye!"

"Seeya!"

"Roger."

"Gotta bounce, dinner."

"Th-thanks so much, g-guys!"

"'Course! Buh-bye!!"

"Bye!"

"G'night."

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

_'Just look at you._

_Disgusting._

_Just a poser._

_What are you thinking, stupid?_

_You think just because you want to, that you can cross the line between the sexes?_

_Michael is gay, you realize that?_

_Homosexual._

_He likes_

_MEN._

_You are not a man._

_You're an idiot._

_A cowardly idiot, hiding the truth behind binders and packers and men's clothes._

_You wonder why your jeans chafe?_

_Because they're not made to fit your body._

_That's why they're sold in the MEN'S DEPARTMENT._

_And you, as we've already established, are not a man._

_But even that doesn't do you any favors._

_You're quite distasteful as a woman._

_Gangly._

_Pimply._

_Narrow hips._

_Scrawny._

_Christ, Heere. Even Michael doesn't call you handsome._

_He calls you feminized things._

_Beautiful._

_Pretty._

_Adorable._

_Sweetheart._

_Ange—'_

"stOPiTSToPITSTOPITsTOPIT!!!" Jeremy cried through clenched teeth. He sat crunched up on the floor of his bedroom, his forehead on his knees and his fingertips pressed hard against his skull. He wore only boxers and a binder.

It was a late night, and Jeremy had the house to himself. If he was honest, it wasn't much of a surprise that the evening had culminated with him screaming and crying in his room, alone with the voices. The voices, the voices, the voices, oh, gah, the _voices!!_ He couldn't get _out_ , he couldn't get _them_ out, he just wanted some _peace and goddamned quiet—_

"SHUT UP!!!" His scream shattered the silence like glass, he could almost hear the pieces hitting the ground, _tink, clickik, clinkity tak tik skitter._ He pressed his hands harder and harder onto his ears until he was sobbing in pain from the headache he was giving himself, but it was wonderful because the pain was a _sensation_ , it was something to focus on to help block out the voices.  
The shards of silence still clattered around him. Everything was humming, buzzing, vibrating at a low frequency, like someone had plugged in a bass guitar to an amp, turned it up to full volume, and given it an aggressive strum.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Michael sat in his room, playing Mighty Gunvolt, at peace with the world. He put a halfhearted effort into a boss battle he could see that he'd lose. When the screen froze with the words GAME OVER emblazoned across it, he tossed the device aside and picked up his phone. _Haven't heard from Jere since school let out today... Wonder what's up...?_

_Hey sup man?_

Nothing. This was seriously concerning, because Jeremy had a custom text tone for Michael, so he'd always respond almost instantly.

_Jeremy are you okay?_

Still no response.

_I'm coming over._

He jumped up and clattered downstairs. As he ran out the door, he called out to his moms.

"I'm going to Jere's!"

"Okay, honey."

"See you. Drive safe."

He leapt into his Cruiser and sped up the street. When he got to Jeremy's house, he almost fell out of his car in his rush to get to the front door. He rang the doorbell.

_Ding-gong._

No response. He pressed it three more times in rapid succession.

 _Ding-ga-ding-ga-ding-gong_.

Nobody came to the door. Of course, Michael knew where the key was, so this wasn't an issue. He dug it out from the small flowerpot, wiped it clean on his jeans, and hastily swiped it through the lock. Sticking it back into the dirt, he hurriedly burst over the threshold, then stopped and listened.

The house was quiet. Except for one thing. Michael had a very keen ear for Jeremies In Distress, and there was definitely one present here. He thundered down the hall, crashed into Jeremy's room, and fell to his knees, scooping Jeremy up in his arms.

"You're alright, you're alright, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here now, you're safe, it's okay, you're alright, I've got you..."

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Jeremy sobbed harder than ever. He clutched his head as though he feared it might fall off or explode. He barely knew that something was happening outside of him.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Michael stood, holding Jeremy, then sat on the bed. Still murmuring soothing words, he gently rocked the distressed boy in his arms.  
Gradually, the sobs grew further apart, and Jeremy began to relax.

"Oh, sweetheart, baby, angel, I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner... I love you, you're safe... "

 _"M-M-M-M-Mic-c-chael!!"_ Jeremy sobbed, clutching the front of Michael's sweatshirt.

"It's okay... You're okay... I've got you... You're safe...

"Th-th-the-the-the-the v-v-voices," he cried, shaking in Michael's arms. "Th-they're s-s-so l-l-loud..."

"It's okay... I've got you now... I'll keep them away... Here, put on my sweatshirt, alright? You're not alone with them anymore, I've got you..." He pulled off his sweatshirt and slipped it over Jeremy. Panic attacks were always such a physical burden...

_'He has no reason to—'_

"I love you..."

_'He doesn't mean—'_

"I've got you."

_'You're such an—'_

"I won't let them hurt you."

_'This is j—'_

"You're safe."

_'You'resuchanidiothe'slyingcan'tyouseehehasnoreasontoloveyouyou'resopatheticforbelieving—'_

Michael's headphones gently snapped over Jeremy's ears. He didn't have the mental capacity to figure out what music was playing. It didn't matter. The voices couldn't talk over music.

Now that his head was free of noise, Jeremy leaned heavily against Michael and just cried. He was so tired. The week had only been a downward spiral from Monday. He'd gotten yelled at by a teacher who was stressed out by performance evaluation week, then he'd forgotten his insomnia meds so he effectively missed school Tuesday. And it had just gotten worse from there, ending on Friday evening with his worst panic attack in some time.

He slowly ran out of tears, and was left curled up and miserably hiccuping, wearing only his underwear and his boyfriend's sweatshirt and headphones, said boyfriend's arms around him and lips beside his ear, whispering consolations and reassurances through the headphones. After a bit, Jeremy pushed the headphones off one ear and sighed exhaustedly.

"You okay now?" Michael whispered.

"Mm... Y-yeah... J-just..."

"Tired?"

Jeremy nodded.

"H-how'd you kn-know...?"

"You weren't answering my texts, so I knew something was wrong."

"Th-thanks f-f-for-for-for coming..."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I d-d'nno..." _'Because he doesn't love you, idiot,'_ the voices hissed in the pause between songs.

"Can you look at me?"

Jeremy hesitantly turned his face upwards, and Michael smiled at him.

"I love you. I just want you to be happy and safe."

Jeremy blinked, then slid himself off of Michael's lap and stood, stretching his tired muscles. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside his Player 2 and sighed, leaning against him.

"W-what'd I ever d-do t-to deserv-ve you...? You're j-just... P- _perfect_. And I'm s-such a m-mess."

Michael hugged him, blushing.

"I don't care if you're a mess... You're the most gorgeous human being I've ever seen, you somehow care about me more than anyone, you're funny, you're awkward in the best way possible, you love video games and retro shit... You're _Jeremy fucking Heere_ , and I love you to _death_ for it."

There was a protracted, only slightly awkward pause.

"...I should g-get dressed, a-and... W-we could g-go back to y-your place?"

"Sure. You want me to step out, or—"

"N-no!" Jeremy cried, grabbing Michael's arm as he moved to stand up. "I d-don't wanna b-be al-lone," he added in a softer voice.

"Alright, I'm not goin' anywhere."

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

"Er, u-um, s-sorry, Mikey, I h-have, uh, um, a t-th... Therapy t-today! S-so, um! G-gottagobye!" Jeremy hung up as fast as possible and let his long legs carry him towards the mall at full tilt.

When he arrived at the food court, it was to see a panicked wave and hear urgent hissing from a corner booth table.

"Wh-wh-whassup?" He panted, stumbling to a halt beside the table. He gawped confusedly at his friends, who were all hunched down in the booth like a tornado was coming.

 _"Get down, tall-ath!!_ Your boyfriend'th here, he showed up like ten minuteth before you did!"

"Fuck!" Jeremy ducked beneath the line of sight of the other tables.

"So what now?!" Chloe hissed. "We just sit here looking at decade-old gum until he goes away?!?"

"N-no way," Jeremy said. "He never sp-spends l-less than, l-like, f-fourty-five minutes l-loitering here. And I d-did a r-really bad job of-f l-lying ab-about where I'd b-be today, s-so I'd g-guess he's keeping an e-eye out f-for me."

"God fucking _dammit_ , Heere, could you have picked a smarter boyfriend?!" Jake whispered drily.

"I could go distract him while you guys run outside?" Christine suggested.

"Worth a shot," Brooke said, shrugging.

"I-I dunno... H-how're you gonna g-get aw-way from him?"

"An actress has her ways, sweetheart," she replied sweetly, as she edged out from beneath the table and stood up. Plastering on her terrifyingly convincing fake smile, she approached Michael where he stood leaning on a pillar and holding his slushie.

"Jeremy! Tell us when he's distracted!" Jenna snapped quietly.

"Ok-kay..." Jeremy twisted around and peeked between the potted plants behind the booth.

"Sh-she's got him t-talking... I th-think we're clear!! _Run! Q-quietly!"_

They must have been quite the strange sight: six hunched-over teenagers lightly jogging across a crowded mall food court, glancing nervously over their shoulders. Several people gave them curious looks, and Christine's smile grew a bit strained.

Several things suddenly happened in quick succession, which Jeremy only caught in his glances back at Christine and Michael: Michael glanced over at the food court, looked back to Christine, then did a double take and called Jeremy's name. Christine's eyes widened with instinctual panic, and she shouted at the flock of teens before sprinting after them.

_"Run!! He caught us!"_

In the next instant, all eight teenagers were running at full extension towards the front doors of the mall.

 _"Why are we running away, again?!"_ Jenna shrieked.

 _"I dunno, don't thtop to think!! Whuhgh—?!"_ Jake scooped Rich into his arms and headed up the charge, having the longest legs of the group.

Jake was first through the doors, arms full of a short, screaming bi called Richard. Hot on his heels was a gasping, stumbling Jeremy, who was neck-and-neck with Chloe. Chloe was practically dragging Brooke by the arm, and Jenna ran a foot behind. Christine held up the rear, and was gaining on the others quickly. Michael was still a good 20 feet back.

They halted on the patio. They hadn't thought this far ahead. Jenna, however, kept running, throwing a screech over her shoulder.

_"MY PLACE!!"_

The group lurched back into motion, raggedly reforming behind Jenna. Her house was less than a block from the mall. If they could make it...

She held open the door for Jake and Rich, followed breathlessly by Chloe, then Brooke, then Jeremy, and with barely a heartbeat to spare, Christine. She slammed the door shut behind the small actress and locked it. Twelve heart-pounding seconds later, the expected banging came on the door.

"What—! What the hell, guys?! Wha... Open up, come on!! Seriously?!"

All seven were silent.

"Uugh... And I just wanted... A chill Saturday... At the mall... With my boyfriend... Jesus... Just... Relaxing... Saturday... _God_ , Christine is faster than she looks..."

They heard Michael step down from the porch. After another thirty seconds or so, Christine couldn't contain herself any longer. She started to giggle. Jenna started snickering too, followed by Rich, and then Chloe and Brooke, then Jeremy, and lastly Jake. They snickered, then chuckled, and eventually it evolved into full-out laughter. All seven of them cackled at the top of their lungs for a good five minutes.

"Oh, g-g-god," Jeremy said, coughing and wiping his eyes, "I f-feel so g-guilty for just l-leaving him l-like th-that, but at th-the same t-time...!"

"I get it, I'm feeling exactly the same way...!!"

"Oh my god...!!"

"Whew...!"

"Christ..."

Meanwhile, Michael was sitting on the porch steps. He'd decided on the classic tactic, Wait It Out. Or, uh, really he just didn't know what to do next, so he defaulted to loitering. They'd have to come out of the house at some point. Someone would have to go home, or have to attend an appointment, or... Something. So he'd wait.

He felt understandably upset about having been lied to by several people about why they couldn't hang out with him that day. The exclusion brought back old insecurities.

Listening to his friends laughing their asses off inside didn't exactly help his nerve.

He could probably deal with it if the popular kids betrayed him. If he was honest, he'd always half-expected it. But he definitely couldn't deal if Jeremy was doing something behind his back.

He sighed, noticing as the light began to fail. He could hear muffled chatting and laughing from inside. _Sounds like they're having fun... Without me..._

After another hour or two, he heard the door unlock. Quickly rising to his feet, he turned around to find the door opening. The face it revealed was... Jeremy. His eyes, already bright with laughter, lit up further when he saw Michael. He ran forward, and Michael instinctively caught him in his arms.

"M-Mikey!" he cried happily. In a lower voice, he said, "Sorry ab-bout earlier... I p-promise I'll e-explain in the c-car, 'k-kay?"

"Okay, okay," he replied, vaguely annoyed but unable to help smiling as Jeremy hugged him tightly.

"D'aww, look at you two," Jenna cooed, snapping a picture before anyone could stop her.

"Hey, so is it time to head out?" Michael queried, his gaze passing over the rest of the group as Jeremy stepped back and interlaced his fingers with Michael's.

"Yeah, I think," Brooke answered, shooting the others an uncertain glance.

"Yeah, w-we're good for n-now. S-see you on Monday?"

"Yeah!"

"You know it, tall-ath."

"See you!!"

The group said their farewells and headed off in various directions. Michael felt slightly uncomfortable, knowing something big was going on and he didn't know anything about it.

"S-sorry," Jeremy said, his voice softer than Michael had been expecting. He looked over to see the pale boy chewing his lip and shooting Michael nervous glances. "It-it's just..." He trailed off.

"...yeah?"

"...ugh, u-uhm, c-can you j-just trust me on th-this one?"

Michael felt unsure.

"P-please? J-just give us t-till... Till M-Monday?"

"Okay, I guess?"

"J-just-just trust me?"

Michael sighed and squeezed Jeremy's hand.

"'Course, sweetheart."

"Th-thanks. I pr-promise it'll b-be worth it."

"But do I at least get you to myself for the rest of today?"

"Yeah, th-that s-sounds nice."

"Cool." He quickly kissed Jeremy on the cheek, making the smaller boy blush.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Yet again, Michael lay curled up in his basement. Jeremy's hands were gripping the front of his sweatshirt, and his long legs were bent in a position that looked to Michael to be very awkward, but Jeremy somehow slept with it. Michael had made sure that Jeremy took his evening pills, so the slim boy slept soundly.

The basement was unlit, the TV monitor having long since timed out. The small window near the ceiling, however, allowed a shaft of moonlight into the room. As the moon moved across the sky, the square of illuminated floor crept closer to the two boys. Michael admired the various gradual effects the light had on Jeremy.

His mussed-up hair shone with a hazy halo of pale silver when the light hit it. _Angel... Heh._ The beam inched across his face, which seemed to glow in the ghostly light.

They breathed in sync, Michael noticed.

"God, I love you too much," he whispered softly. "I can't believe we're here... I never thought... I never imagined that... That you would want me like this. That it wasn't just me."

Jeremy sighed in his sleep and nestled in closer to Michael. Michael flopped his head down on his arm and curled around Jeremy a bit more. Sighing quietly, he let his eyes flicker shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever mentioned this, but. I fuckin love retro games? And Mighty Gunvolt is one of my faves


	7. A letter for you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi.

To my dear, amazing, sweet, lovely readers, 

First and foremost,  _ thank you.  _ So many people are subscribed to this fic; it blows my mind. Thanks for caring enough to want to see this continue.

Let me start the bulk of this letter with a story. 

One day, at the end of the first week of December, 2017, I had a very casual conversation with a very dear friend. I won't go into the details, but this casual conversation brought me to a sickening, deep realization about myself and what fuels my writing. 

The next day, having half-forgotten the conversation, I sat down and pulled up Google Docs on my phone.

And...

Nothing.

I just couldn't write. I felt disgusted with myself for producing most of the things I saw on my G Docs dashboard. I couldn't even  _ think  _ about writing more. 

So I turned on a podcast (s/o to Wolf 359 for providing top-notch escapism) and asked my mom for presents to wrap.

For a week and a half after this, using my phone too much, other than for communication and podcasts, made me feel sick with myself. To quote myself from Twitter on 12/17, “So I'll just sit in my corner and draw terribly and binge podcasts and make music and clean my room and pretend that this block has nothing to do with my general anxiety about life reaching a breaking point.” It's really hard to explain, but I'll try: I believe that the aforementioned realization I had about my writing triggered a general anxiety breakdown. Quoting from the same Twitter thread, “I think it's a sensory or processing thing; I can't take all the data running through my head. Talking with my friends makes me really happy and calm, and listening to podcasts is wonderful because the information flow is relatively slow. For some reason Twitter is okay too?? Maybe it's cause it's <280 characters at a time.” To get to the point, “I think I'm gonna spend winter break mostly offline/unplugged.”

Which, by and large, I have done. I've been skiing. I've been cleaning the house, and baking, and wrapping presents, and reading. I've been listening to podcasts and audiobooks, playing holiday music on my new vibraphone, singing, talking to friends, hanging out with friends, occasionally writing on Between the Lines, playing Animal Crossing on my DS, going on walks, looking forward to seeing the Howl’s Moving Castle musical live... I've been  _ living.  _ I've been enjoying my winter break. And... I feel  _ good.  _ I feel happy. Like my brain has been getting a much-deserved, much-needed break. 

So now... Here we are. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm ready to update you on the status of the final chapter of this fic. 

As of about 12/7, I was around 75-80% done with the last chapter of TAATGOB. Well, I guess it doesn't make a lot of sense to use the past tense...? Yes, calm down, I'm not scrapping what I have. I'm pretty happy with it and I feel comfortable finishing it the way it is. It’ll just... Take a while longer. I'm sorry that this isn't a real update, but I needed you to know that I haven't forgotten about this fic or about you, my dear readers!! I REALLY, really love you guys, so I wanted you to know what's been happening and... Why I haven't been posting, at all. 

So... That's it for now, I guess. Again, you have my eternal, sincerest thanks for reading my silly stories about these silly kids. I love you. Thanks so much. Can I hug you? I'm hugging you. 

Thanks.

-Nova (drowninginchamomiletea)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho there! Yes, the fic is complete and has been for a few weeks. However, I'm leaving this letter here to show that all artists struggle with mental blocks. It's just par for the course. Taking a break isn't a bad thing. Stepping away doesn't make you a weaker person. Getting rest is part of the job. Take care of yourself.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoooh. The end of a journey. I'll get sappy in the chapter end notes, y'all, but here's your summary:
> 
> Michael gets a surprise.

Michael sat reclined in his desk chair, legs crossed and feet up on the desktop. He held a familiar notebook and a pen.  
  
_87\. Gosh, mahal, I gotta say, I never in my wildest dreams expected this. Not to say that I'm not stupidly happy and in love with you, because I totally am and holy SHIT I've talked about this enough for one entry already!_  
  
_88\. Okay, okay, let's try this again. Feels like I have to say this, just cause it's obligatory and eternally true: I loooove Jeremiah Heere...!! *swoons* (just imagine me swooning, I can't draw for shit)_  
_Oh my god, but seriously. I was hopelessly crushing on you for so long, my angel, but I really never thought I'd have the balls to tell you! I thought you'd hate me. I thought... Well, it doesn't matter what I thought, cause that's water under the bridge._  
_HOLd FoR a mESSAGE FrOM OUR SPOnSORS HOLy ShiT_  
  
_89\. Oh My Good Lord Jesus Christ In Heaven Above Someone Help My Poor Dear Heart Jeremy Just Fucking Walked In Groggy And Tousle-Haired And Wearing A Giant T-Shirt And His Cardigan I Have Died There I Go I Swear On A Stack Of Bibles I Am Hiding My Entire Face In This Notebook Because I Am Blushing So Awfully This Is The Worst Oh My GoD JEREMY WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR_  
  
_90\. SSOMEONE GET A FUCKING DEFIBRILLATOR HE JUST YAWNED AND IT WAS ALL SQUEAKY HOLY SHIT I MIGHT ACTUALLY FAINT I'M DEAD SERIOUS_  
  
_91\. You are the most beautiful, most perfect, loveliest being in the world. Maybe in the entire universe._  
_♡Jeremy_  
_p.s. definitely the universe_  
  
_91.5._  
  
_91A._  
  
_91B._  
  
_91.1._  
  
_FUCK I'M STILL BLUSHING I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY FUCKING FAINTED BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE MY BOYFRIEND IS_  
  
_92\. your handwriting is perfect i love how your lowercase l's are all crooked and i love the little loop on your j's and i love how the dots on your i's and j's and stuff are shaped like little u's because you write too fast to draw a full circle and i love how your f's and t's both look like ('s with a crossbar and i love how you refuse to write in ink if it's not blue and for the lOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY HOW ARE YOU SO CUTE_  
  
_93\. IN EVERY WAY_  
  
_94\. YOU'VE GOTTA BE BREAKING SOME LAW WITH HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE_  
  
_95\. YOU'RE CERTAINLY BREAKING ME_  
  
"W-whatcha writing ab-bout th-that's making you blush, M-Micah?" Jeremy grinned, leaning over in an attempt to peek at the notebook's contents.

"F-f-f—Shut up, Heere..." Michael muttered, blushing deeper and covering his face with the notebook so as to hide both his blush and his writing.

"I thought I was s-supposed t-to be th-the one with a s-stutter," Jeremy teased. Michael made a noise of protest somewhere between a whine and a groan. Jeremy sniggered again, making Michael blush darker still.

He laid his head on Michael's chest and looked up at him, blue eyes wide and doe-like.

"C'mooon... L-lemme see it...!!"

Michael glanced down at Jeremy.

This was a mistake.

He groaned loudly and lowered the notebook from his face.

"Ugh... Fine..."

"Yessss!"

Jeremy sat back up and snatched the notebook from Michael's hands.

"Gimme that p-pen—W-wait, is it b-blue?"

"Yeah..."

"G-great, gimme."  
  
_96\. I! Love! You!_  
_-angelboy_  
  
"Dammit... Fuck you, Heere...."

"Y-you know h-how much I l-love making you b-blush!"

"Sh-shush!!"

"L-look how w-warm y-you are now, th-though! S-sleepy earl-ly-m-morning Jere needs w-warmth!"

Michael shoved the still-grinning Jeremy up inside his sweatshirt and stood up. He held the slimmer boy, still curled up, against his bare torso beneath the jacket. Jeremy squeezed his head out of the neck hole alongside Michael and smirked.

"I-I'm okay with this," he laughed. "It's r- _really_ w-warm in here w-with you, w-wow. C-can we j-just walk around l-like this a-all the t-time?"

"Shut up—!"

"A-and I g-guess I d-didn't realize you st-still sleep sh-shirtless..."

"I don't hear you complaining!"

"Oh, I'm d- _definitely_ n-not complaining!"

"Good, cause I'm not letting you out."

"Ooohh, is this my c-comeuppance f-for teasing y-you?"

"Yes."

"M-maybe I'll d-do it more often, th-then..."

Michael stopped in his tracks and dropped Jeremy out of his sweatshirt and onto the carpeted floor.

"H-heeyyy!!" Jeremy whined as Michael continued on his way downstairs. He glanced back, a devious grin splitting his cheeks, at Jeremy, pouting and sprawled out on the floor.

"Come on, _anghel_. It's Sunday. Pancakes?"

"H-heck yeah!" Jeremy cheered, jumping up and running after Michael.  
  
.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

Michael woke up on Monday feeling strange. He sat up and silenced his phone's alarm, then looked around in the dim grey dawn light filtering in through the window near the ceiling. The basement... Was empty.

Frowning, he stood up and stretched, putting his phone in his sweatshirt pocket. That was the first thing that was weird, actually. If Jeremy wasn't sleeping over, Michael usually slept shirtless.

Speaking of which... _Had_ Jeremy slept over last night? Michael _thought_ he had, but as of now, the basement was free of all the usual signs of his boyfriend's presence. Jeremy's blue backpack with the faded _BOYF_ wasn't lying cast aside by his beanbag, and his phone was nowhere in sight.

He walked up the stairs and found the door slightly ajar. This, too, was unusual. He usually kept it closed to keep any warm air from escaping the chilly basement. Closing the door behind him, he turned and walked upstairs to take a shower.

_Yay. My daily dose of self-hatred._

He would have thrown a towel over the mirror if he could've, but it was mounted on the wall with no frame, so this wasn't possible. And it's not like he was about to admit his struggles with his body image to his moms. He was barely able to admit them to himself, and it had been physical pain admitting them to Jeremy.

Out of habit, he determinedly looked at the wall after closing the bathroom door. He didn't even look in the mirror to brush his teeth anymore.

Once he had turned the shower on, he took off his watch and glasses and set them down alongside his phone on the counter beside his sink.

It was then that he noticed it.

It caught his attention as he glanced up from the counter. A big, colorful— _something_ on the mirror. He lifted a hand and touched it. _Paper... Sticky notes? What..._

He fumbled to pick his glasses back up. When he had them on and could see clearly once more, he looked back at the mirror... And almost fell to his knees at what he found there.

His mirror was covered completely in sticky notes of various colors. But it wasn't just a stupid prank. Each slip of paper had lyrics on it.  
  
_Your love was handmade/For somebody like me_  
_-Ed Sheeran//Shape of You_  
  
_Your eyes, they shine so bright/I want to save their light_  
_-Imagine Dragons//Demons_  
  
_Saw your face/And got inspired_  
_-Zayn//Like I Would_  
  
_Let me hold both your hands/In the hole of my sweater_  
_-The Neighbourhood//Sweater Weather_  
  
_Our brains are sick/But that's okay_  
_-Twenty One Pilots//Fake You Out_  
  
_Something in the way you move/Makes me feel like I can't live without you_  
_-Rihanna//Stay_  
  
_You're ripped at every edge/But you're a masterpiece_  
_-Halsey//Colors_  
  
_Jesus Christ/That's a pretty face_  
_-Jesus Christ//Brand New_  
  
_When I thought that I fought this war alone/You were there by my side on the frontline_  
_-Poets of the Fall//War_  
  
_My heart would break without you_  
_-Lady Gaga//Dope_  
  
There were countless more. But Michael didn't see. He was too busy choking back tears and fumbling through his phone to call Jeremy.

"J-Jere!"

"M-Morning, beautiful."

"W-was this— Is this— H-how—?!"

"There’s m-more. Sh-shower and g-get to school. I l-love you. S-see you i-in a bit!" Jeremy hung up, leaving Michael stunned at this utterly unexpected outpouring of love.

He took a picture of the mirror. As an afterthought, he set the photo as his wallpaper.

He showered quickly, then got dressed and grabbed a few granola bars to eat on the way to school. His mothers blinked confusedly as he blustered out of the house.

"You're not running late, sweetie!" May called after him, bewildered at her son's behavior. She looked at June, who shrugged.

When Michael arrived at school, it was to find Jeremy waiting outside for him, grinning. Michael ran right up to him and kissed him full on the mouth.

"Thank you so much, I— I dunno what to say, Jere, I—"

"GAY!" came a friendly chorus of shouts from behind Jeremy. The two turned, hand-in-hand, to find their friends approaching from the doors.

"Come on, Michael!"

"Get inthide, nerd, we've got more—"

"SHUT UP, Rich!! It's supposed to be a surprise!"

The group as a whole dragged Michael inside, Jeremy closely following.

"You— You guys, I— This—"

"Shut your windhole and go check your locker!" Chloe interrupted, shoving him down the hall.

"Okay, okay!!" he laughed, regaining his balance with Jeremy's help and jogging to his locker.

Upon opening it, he found a strip of photos and a letter on the inside of the door. The photos were of him and his friends, and had neon doodling on them.  
  
**~~AUTHOR'S NOTE: HI YES WHEEZES I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO SEE MY TERRIBLE MESSY ART BUT I WAS HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE DESCRIBING THE PHOTOS SO TAT SORRY FOR THIS~~**

  
_Hi, Mike!!! We heard you've been feeling down about yourself, so we wanted to tell you how much we love you!! You're always glowing and you always put a smile on our faces!! Your smile, your heart, and your presence are so warm and cheerful, and we don't know what we'd do if you weren't around to keep our spirits up! Keep smiling!!_  
_♡Chloe & Brooke!_

"Oh my g-gosh, guys... This is too much...” he said, face burning and hands hiding an enormous smile. Tears were starting to prick at his eyes.

Suddenly, the bell rang and they all swore in unison, saying hasty goodbyes and running off in various directions.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

“H-hey, uh— Headphoneth! Wait up!”

“Whuh?” Michael turned to find Rich jogging after him. The drastically shorter teen halted beside him to catch his breath before speaking.

“Tho, uh— I wathn't—” He stopped, thinking. The awkwardness was palpable; the only times they had ever been alone together before were particularly nasty bullying incidents, and those were clearly the memories in both of their minds. Eventually, Rich started again, more slowly. “What even ith body image, anyway? Everything you don't like about yourthelf, thomeone elthe liketh about you. Tho... Don't let it get you down, dude.”

Michael stared, at a loss. The statement was halting and uncertain, but it had apparently happened.

Rich let out a short, humorless bark of laughter.

“Gueth good intentionth aren't enough to fixth two yearth of merthileth tormenting, huh?”

The taller of the two felt his eyebrows squinch together as his stomach was upset by a crashing flood of guilt.

“N-no, that’s not— I mean, I guess...” He trailed off, not wanting to lie, but at the same time wishing that he had something to say other than ‘yeah, that was a pretty fucked-up thing for you to do.’ The memories of bruising both emotional and physical flashed back across his mind, and it must have shown in his expression, because Rich’s face fell once more. Michael was about to apologize, but Rich beat him to the punch.

“Lithten, man, I...” He shook his head and faced Michael properly. “Michael. I’m thorry about all the shit I did to you and Jeremy. I really am. I-I know it thoundth really, I dunno, it thoundth kinda— I’m theriouth, okay? I couldn’t— I didn't kn— Well, okay, I gueth I did know, but I—”

Michael cut him off.

“Rich, I get it. It-it wasn't your fault. You had to, your SQUIP made you.”

Rich paused, then nodded.

There was a moment of silence.

“...I'm jutht... I really wanna make thingth right, y'know? And I wath thuch a shitty perthon for tho long, it’th jutht... It'th hard to know where to thtart.” He looked up. “I know we haven't been friendth for that long, and I totally get it if you haven't forgiven me, but... Thomehow, I care about you, man. Jutht... You're cool, Michael, and it’d make Jeremy... And me, and everyone, ultra happy if you loved yourthelf a little more.”

Michael looked at the shorter boy, a strange, choking, conflicted emotion clogging his airway.

“I...” He swallowed. “Thanks, Rich, it... It really means a lot.”

Rich exhaled, relieved his point had gotten across, and hastily stepped away, holding up a hand in farewell.

Michael suddenly remembered something.

“W— Rich!”

The name’s owner halted and looked back.

Michael swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Th-thanks. For... For bringing Jere to his senses. You... Might’ve saved my life. I really appreciate you trying so hard to keep me from sinking as far as I did, even if... It didn't work, in the end.”

Rich wasn't sure how to react. Eventually, he just kind of... Nodded, and gave a tiny, grimacing smile before walking away.

.•∴✬•✩•✬∴•.

By lunch, he was itching to talk to his friends again.

Well, if he was honest with himself, it was really just Jeremy he wanted to talk to. They had been having silent conversations through looks and gestures during class, but it would be an enormous relief to just talk.

“C-c’mon, let’s—”

“Get outta here? Yes.” Michael grabbed his boyfriend's hand and the pair hurried out.

Jeremy was quiet for a long moment as they let the crowds push them along in the direction of the lunchroom.

“I-I hope... Was this okay? D-did I—” He fell silent mid-sentence and subconsciously squeezed Michael's hand a little tighter.

“A-are you... Worried that surprising me like this was... Bad, in some way?”

Jeremy slowly nodded and Michael sighed and tugged them both to a sheltered nook behind a locker, where the crowd wasn't an issue.

“Listen. This is... Amazing, what you're doing. I'm serious. I can't express how much I appreciate it. You're the best friend I could possibly ask for, and just as good a boyfriend. I have no idea what I did to earn as much karma as it must've cost me for you to walk into my life.” He paused and took a breath, feeling a smile warming his cheeks. “This is the best thing you could've done for me, Jere. I can't thank you enough.”

Jeremy looked steadily up into his boyfriend's eyes and felt his worries disappear. He nodded.

“You... You d-deserve it. You deserve to l-love yourself. Take care of yourself, f-for me if n-nothing else, okay?”

Michael nodded and hugged his boyfriend.

“Thanks, Miah.”

“'Course, Micah.”

“Lunch sounds pretty good about now, wouldn't you say?”

“Heck yeah! I'm starving.”

“Let's go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit.  
> Okay.  
> This is by far the longest boyfs fic I've written. It's disgustingly self-indulgent, pure trash. Now, I first posted it under the title Ｕｎｎｅｃｅｓｓａｒｙ, because that fit with the chapter tilting scheme and it was accurate to the fic.  
> But then I got a comment lecturing me saying that they had clicked on the fic expecting crack but, if I may paraphrase, "what I got was a well-written fic that made my heart hurt and made me cry and laugh and smile and feel things. This shit isn't unnecessary it's so very fucking necessary and I demand you tag and title it as such!"  
> This right about stopped my heart. I wasn't at all expecting people to actually like my stupid self-indulgent fic that was the second or third one I'd ever written for this fandom. I've gotten SO MANY people reading and loving this fic, it blows my mind. I'm blown away by how kind people were when I lost myself for a month or two. I endlessly appreciate my readers.  
> This fic was what really got me going as a BMC fanfic author. I have y'all to blame for getting up to 41 works and counting.  
> So, thanks. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for leaving kudos. And, most importantly,   
> **THANKS FOR READING!!**  
>  See you next time!  
> -Nove


End file.
